

1
00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:15,514
A little help would be nice,

2
00:01:22,688 --> 00:01:25,224
Moving on out,

3
00:01:25,358 --> 00:01:28,561
Looks like it's Splitsville
from the West Village

4
00:01:28,694 --> 00:01:31,130
for Lindsay Lohan and her latest beau,

5
00:01:31,264 --> 00:01:34,200
bad boy rocker, Rocky Rakovia,

6
00:01:34,733 --> 00:01:37,803
Townhouse Confidential
has learned that little Lindsey

7
00:01:37,936 --> 00:01:40,973
has grown teary-eyed over
the construction going on

8
00:01:41,106 --> 00:01:43,276
in front of her rented townhouse

9
00:01:43,409 --> 00:01:46,245
and put in an offer
on a Hudson Yards penthouse

10
00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:48,681
with a floor to ceiling river view,

11
00:01:49,415 --> 00:01:53,486
Her new digs come complete with
an indoor pool, an outdoor pool,

12
00:01:53,619 --> 00:01:57,122
an equinox gym, and, get this,

13
00:01:57,256 --> 00:02:00,259
luxury barrel saunas for two,

14
00:02:01,126 --> 00:02:02,961
With amenities like that,

15
00:02:03,095 --> 00:02:05,798
how can a West Village
townhouse hope to compete?

16
00:02:22,348 --> 00:02:24,650
Oh, Sophie, why didn't you text me

17
00:02:24,783 --> 00:02:26,185
and let me know you were coming?

18
00:02:26,319 --> 00:02:29,322
Next time, remind me to take an Uber,

19
00:02:31,224 --> 00:02:33,426
So, you finally
found us a new tenant, Sophie,

20
00:02:33,559 --> 00:02:34,860
It's about time,

21
00:02:34,993 --> 00:02:36,562
Making money while you sleep sure does

22
00:02:36,695 --> 00:02:37,996
beat working for a living,

23
00:02:38,130 --> 00:02:39,632
You call that working?

24
00:02:39,765 --> 00:02:41,334
Hooking up with middle aged hedge funders

25
00:02:41,467 --> 00:02:43,168
that you meet at the gym

26
00:02:43,302 --> 00:02:45,504
while I slave away icing
cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery?

27
00:02:45,638 --> 00:02:47,506
Well, at least
I make more than minimum wage

28
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,974
working as a personal trainer,

29
00:02:49,107 --> 00:02:50,776
Girls, girls, please,

30
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:53,045
I finally found a tenant

31
00:02:53,178 --> 00:02:54,980
for your precious garden apartment,

32
00:02:55,113 --> 00:02:57,316
And not just any tenant,

33
00:02:57,450 --> 00:03:00,853
He's 32, runs his own
venture capital fund,

34
00:03:00,986 --> 00:03:03,889
and rakes in more than
half a million a year,

35
00:03:04,022 --> 00:03:06,959
And best of all, he's single,

36
00:03:07,826 --> 00:03:10,028
Never married, no kids, no pets,

37
00:03:10,162 --> 00:03:12,698
That means he's probably gay,
Or bankrupt, Or both,

38
00:03:12,831 --> 00:03:15,200
Have you checked him
out on deadbeatnants,com?

39
00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:18,136
Oh, Lizzie, do you have to be
so cynical all the time?

40
00:03:18,271 --> 00:03:19,905
Maybe he's got a friend for you, too,

41
00:03:20,038 --> 00:03:21,440
Oh, come on, He might be just--

42
00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:23,509
Can't a girl get a minute's peace

43
00:03:23,642 --> 00:03:25,043
to blog in this house?

44
00:03:25,177 --> 00:03:26,745
You do realize that the <i>Huffington Post</i>

45
00:03:26,879 --> 00:03:28,614
just named
<i>Townhouse Confidential--</i>

46
00:03:28,747 --> 00:03:31,317
One of the 100 best
new real estate blogs to watch,

47
00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:33,185
Yes, Mary, we know,

48
00:03:33,319 --> 00:03:34,787
And now we just wait

49
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,455
for all those advertising
dollars to roll in,

50
00:03:36,589 --> 00:03:38,724
Okay, girls,
I'll bring him around

51
00:03:38,857 --> 00:03:40,459
for your inspection tomorrow,

52
00:03:42,027 --> 00:03:44,430
But if there's
a marriage comes out of this,

53
00:03:44,563 --> 00:03:46,932
I expect an invitation to the wedding,

54
00:03:47,466 --> 00:03:48,867
You are the boss, Sophie,

55
00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:50,436
You have no idea,

56
00:04:02,448 --> 00:04:03,749
Thank you so much

57
00:04:03,882 --> 00:04:05,017
for coming, everyone, thank you,

58
00:04:05,918 --> 00:04:06,952
Thank you very much,

59
00:04:07,085 --> 00:04:08,554
As most of you know,

60
00:04:08,687 --> 00:04:10,723
my family has maintained
a dominant presence

61
00:04:10,856 --> 00:04:14,593
in West Village real estate
for nearly two centuries,

62
00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:17,896
Our new master plan,

63
00:04:18,631 --> 00:04:22,267
which we will execute
with $100 million in bank loans

64
00:04:22,401 --> 00:04:23,636
and investor capital,

65
00:04:24,236 --> 00:04:27,239
will remake the face of the West Village,

66
00:04:28,741 --> 00:04:30,609
Affording the world's elite

67
00:04:30,743 --> 00:04:34,012
the opportunity to own entire blocks

68
00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:36,682
of luxury townhouse properties

69
00:04:36,815 --> 00:04:39,084
where they can live, work,

70
00:04:39,217 --> 00:04:40,853
Did you know that from the moment

71
00:04:40,986 --> 00:04:43,155
I brought Georgie home
from St, Vincent's Hospital,

72
00:04:43,288 --> 00:04:46,459
he could already point
out a lintel from his stroller?

73
00:04:46,592 --> 00:04:48,594
And by age seven, he knew the difference

74
00:04:48,727 --> 00:04:51,296
between a federal style
townhouse and a Greek Revival,

75
00:04:51,430 --> 00:04:52,865
More into it,

76
00:04:52,998 --> 00:04:55,100
Now, as you can see in the shaded area,

77
00:04:55,233 --> 00:04:58,070
Barrow Ventures has holdings on Charles,

78
00:04:58,203 --> 00:05:00,038
Perry, Bank Street,

79
00:05:00,172 --> 00:05:04,209
as well as 50 other
luxury townhouse properties,

80
00:05:06,612 --> 00:05:09,648
Not to worry,

81
00:05:09,782 --> 00:05:12,385
Girls are always fainting
at Georgie's presentations,

82
00:05:12,518 --> 00:05:15,187
That's why we always have
a couple of paramedics on hand,

83
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,022
Boys,

84
00:05:17,155 --> 00:05:18,991
Thank you, boys,

85
00:05:21,627 --> 00:05:23,529
She's fine, She's fine,

86
00:05:25,498 --> 00:05:26,765
Any questions?

87
00:05:26,899 --> 00:05:28,501
Yes,

88
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:31,570
But what about the Landmarks
Preservation Commission?

89
00:05:31,704 --> 00:05:33,939
Won't the city's preservationists object

90
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:38,444
to your turning the West Village
into a hedge funder Disneyland?

91
00:05:43,215 --> 00:05:44,417
The deal is in the bag,

92
00:05:45,017 --> 00:05:46,452
Everyone from the mayor on down

93
00:05:46,585 --> 00:05:48,186
has already signed off on the project,

94
00:05:48,754 --> 00:05:51,824
Trust me, this baby is shovel ready,

95
00:05:51,957 --> 00:05:54,026
But what if some of the townhouse owners

96
00:05:54,159 --> 00:05:55,494
refuse to sell?

97
00:05:55,628 --> 00:05:56,895
Got it covered,

98
00:05:57,362 --> 00:05:58,931
We've hired the top brokers
in the West Village

99
00:05:59,064 --> 00:06:00,833
to canvas the homeowners,

100
00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:03,068
Everyone has agreed to sell
to our development company

101
00:06:03,201 --> 00:06:04,803
once we close on the financing,

102
00:06:04,937 --> 00:06:06,772
Mr, Barrow, one more question,

103
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,642
So, I think the presentation

104
00:06:09,775 --> 00:06:11,744
went very well today,

105
00:06:11,877 --> 00:06:14,079
Such a pity your father
wasn't there to see it,

106
00:06:14,813 --> 00:06:16,148
He would have been so proud,

107
00:06:16,281 --> 00:06:18,250
I missed Dad too, Mother,

108
00:06:18,383 --> 00:06:20,553
but it's been ten years
since he passed away,

109
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,221
I'm sure he would have
wanted us to move on,

110
00:06:23,355 --> 00:06:25,090
And so we are,

111
00:06:25,223 --> 00:06:28,060
by creating a townhouse empire
in the West Village

112
00:06:28,193 --> 00:06:31,664
that'll make the Barrow
family name burn even brighter,

113
00:06:32,297 --> 00:06:36,435
And perhaps one day,
by continuing the Barrow legacy

114
00:06:36,569 --> 00:06:38,136
into the seventh generation,

115
00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:40,939
- Here we go again,
- You know, Diana's daughter,

116
00:06:41,073 --> 00:06:42,708
Amy, was in the audience today,

117
00:06:43,175 --> 00:06:46,278
Goldman real estate analyst,
Wharton MBA,

118
00:06:46,411 --> 00:06:48,413
I saw the way she was looking at you,

119
00:06:48,547 --> 00:06:49,882
Please don't start,

120
00:06:50,382 --> 00:06:52,685
George, you're not getting any younger,

121
00:06:52,818 --> 00:06:54,286
Why, when your father was your age--

122
00:06:54,419 --> 00:06:56,522
He was married with a baby and a mortgage,

123
00:06:56,655 --> 00:06:59,925
Yes, Mother,
I know, but I'm 32 and single,

124
00:07:00,058 --> 00:07:01,994
I have more mortgages than I can count,

125
00:07:03,562 --> 00:07:06,932
I'm so busy building this business,

126
00:07:07,065 --> 00:07:08,467
I barely have time for a girlfriend,

127
00:07:08,601 --> 00:07:09,868
let alone a wife and kid,

128
00:07:10,603 --> 00:07:13,839
George, every girl
I've ever introduced you to

129
00:07:13,972 --> 00:07:15,073
has been wrong,

130
00:07:15,207 --> 00:07:17,075
Too thin, too fat,

131
00:07:17,209 --> 00:07:18,611
Too smart, Not smart enough,

132
00:07:18,744 --> 00:07:20,746
Wrong school, wrong zip code,

133
00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:22,948
I'm beginning to think that maybe

134
00:07:23,081 --> 00:07:25,183
you're not interested in girls at all,

135
00:07:27,285 --> 00:07:28,921
What are you trying to say, Mother?

136
00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:31,990
All I want is a little grandbaby

137
00:07:32,124 --> 00:07:34,927
I can pop in a stroller
and push around the West Village

138
00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:37,362
to teach the ABCs
of bricks and brownstones,

139
00:07:37,496 --> 00:07:39,331
Is that too much to ask?

140
00:07:39,464 --> 00:07:42,000
Mother, we're done here,

141
00:07:42,635 --> 00:07:43,869
I'm off to a business meeting,

142
00:07:44,002 --> 00:07:45,738
- What?
- Don't wait up,

143
00:07:50,108 --> 00:07:51,376
What are you gettin'?

144
00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:53,178
I don't know,
How about you?

145
00:07:53,311 --> 00:07:55,480
Think I'm gonna
go for a pastrami, no mustard,

146
00:07:56,515 --> 00:07:58,684
Sal, you gotta watch your gluten, Sal,

147
00:07:58,817 --> 00:08:00,819
Yeah, but I like food with gluten,

148
00:08:00,953 --> 00:08:02,487
All right,
Good, Oh, here he is,

149
00:08:06,825 --> 00:08:08,293
How are you doing, Mr, Barrow?

150
00:08:08,426 --> 00:08:10,629
Sal Carmine, Long Island
Mortgage and Title,

151
00:08:10,763 --> 00:08:12,765
This is my associate, Big Sal,

152
00:08:12,898 --> 00:08:14,466
Nice to meet you, Mr, Barrow,

153
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,068
Very nice to meet you, gentlemen,

154
00:08:16,201 --> 00:08:17,603
Have a seat,

155
00:08:18,704 --> 00:08:20,706
Thank you for coming today,
I appreciate you,

156
00:08:20,839 --> 00:08:23,308
So, Big Sal,,,

157
00:08:24,342 --> 00:08:26,511
looks like the two of you
are exactly the same height,

158
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:29,514
We get that a lot, actually,

159
00:08:29,648 --> 00:08:31,850
But I'm 5'6, he's 5'7,

160
00:08:31,984 --> 00:08:33,518
That's why they call him Big Sal,

161
00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:35,688
Listen, guys,
I'm a little pressed for time,

162
00:08:36,555 --> 00:08:37,890
What have you got for me?

163
00:08:38,023 --> 00:08:39,224
Well, unfortunately, Georgie,

164
00:08:39,357 --> 00:08:40,659
the pickings were pretty slim,

165
00:08:41,359 --> 00:08:43,829
Your family owns 50 townhouses
in the West Village,

166
00:08:43,962 --> 00:08:45,864
but you drain most of your equity,

167
00:08:45,998 --> 00:08:47,900
And your credit lines,
they're pretty tight,

168
00:08:48,466 --> 00:08:50,402
The only bank that's willing
to give you a bridge loan

169
00:08:50,535 --> 00:08:52,671
to finance your deal until it closes

170
00:08:52,805 --> 00:08:54,873
is the Hudson River Bank
out of Westchester,

171
00:08:55,007 --> 00:08:56,208
Hudson River Bank,

172
00:08:57,475 --> 00:08:59,778
I thought they were
a front for the Russian mob,

173
00:09:00,245 --> 00:09:03,248
Doesn't a certain
bankrupt real estate developer

174
00:09:03,381 --> 00:09:05,751
from Queens borrow money there?

175
00:09:05,884 --> 00:09:08,520
I heard he got into politics
just to pay his bills,

176
00:09:08,654 --> 00:09:09,855
Those guys are tough,

177
00:09:11,056 --> 00:09:12,257
What's the rate?

178
00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:15,193
8,5% and five points at closing,

179
00:09:15,761 --> 00:09:18,163
- Cheap,
- With fed funds at next to zero?

180
00:09:18,631 --> 00:09:20,498
Why, that's practically usury,

181
00:09:20,633 --> 00:09:22,100
You want that
half a million dollars or not?

182
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:24,102
Half a million?

183
00:09:24,236 --> 00:09:27,606
I told you I needed a million
dollars to close the deal,

184
00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:30,075
Well, that's why
I brought Big Sal over here,

185
00:09:30,208 --> 00:09:31,977
He's like a brother from another mother,

186
00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:35,881
Let's just say he has access
to some creative financing,

187
00:09:36,548 --> 00:09:38,283
You gotta be kidding me,

188
00:09:38,416 --> 00:09:41,219
Listen, listen, listen,
it's a new thing we're trying,

189
00:09:41,353 --> 00:09:43,221
It's called financing,

190
00:09:43,355 --> 00:09:45,290
We charge lower rates
than the Russian mob,

191
00:09:45,858 --> 00:09:47,425
And what the IRS don't know,,,

192
00:09:48,894 --> 00:09:50,028
won't hurt 'em,

193
00:09:56,168 --> 00:09:57,302
So,,,

194
00:09:58,503 --> 00:10:00,305
What kind of collateral
are you looking for?

195
00:10:00,873 --> 00:10:03,408
Do you need a personal guarantee?

196
00:10:03,541 --> 00:10:05,644
Nothing, nothing,
Just your word of honor,

197
00:10:05,778 --> 00:10:07,579
And a promise that you do the right thing,

198
00:10:10,916 --> 00:10:12,284
Well, what happens if the deal falls apart

199
00:10:12,417 --> 00:10:13,786
and I can't pay you back?

200
00:10:13,919 --> 00:10:15,320
Go home and watch <i>The Godfather,</i>

201
00:10:15,453 --> 00:10:16,755
You get the idea,

202
00:10:17,222 --> 00:10:19,257
Or maybe
<i>Texas Chainsaw Massacre,</i>

203
00:10:21,894 --> 00:10:23,595
Pleasure doing business with you guys,

204
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,638
Oh, coming,

205
00:10:33,772 --> 00:10:35,340
Put your foot down,

206
00:10:39,812 --> 00:10:41,847
- Welcome, Come in,
- Hi, girls,

207
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,615
Look who I brought with me,

208
00:10:43,749 --> 00:10:47,119
Meet Jonathan Grove, your new tenant,

209
00:10:47,252 --> 00:10:48,653
It's a pleasure to meet you,

210
00:10:48,787 --> 00:10:50,122
And his friend

211
00:10:50,255 --> 00:10:52,925
and real estate advisor,
George Barrow,

212
00:10:53,058 --> 00:10:54,626
Mr, Barrow, Pleasure,

213
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,128
You as well,

214
00:10:56,261 --> 00:10:58,130
- What a lovely home,
- Oh, thank you,

215
00:10:58,263 --> 00:10:59,932
How is your plan coming along to turn

216
00:11:00,065 --> 00:11:03,401
the West Village into
a hedge funder's Disneyland?

217
00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:06,805
Very well, thank you,

218
00:11:07,605 --> 00:11:10,208
George and Jonathan
were roommates at Columbia,

219
00:11:10,342 --> 00:11:12,510
Now, Jonathan has returned to New York

220
00:11:12,644 --> 00:11:14,847
to start his own venture capital fund,

221
00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:17,482
Wow, Welcome back,
Shall we sign the lease?

222
00:11:17,615 --> 00:11:19,651
- Yes!
- Yes, please,

223
00:11:23,521 --> 00:11:26,691
This is where you sign,
Jonathan, to start your new life

224
00:11:26,825 --> 00:11:30,062
in the historic and charming West Village,

225
00:11:30,195 --> 00:11:31,663
Uh, not so fast, my friend,

226
00:11:32,364 --> 00:11:33,565
Before we sign the lease,

227
00:11:34,199 --> 00:11:37,402
let's go downstairs and do a walkthrough,

228
00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:40,638
You know, I normally
make my own decisions,

229
00:11:40,773 --> 00:11:43,108
at least when it comes
to investing in startups,

230
00:11:43,241 --> 00:11:44,910
but he's the townhouse expert,

231
00:11:45,043 --> 00:11:46,244
I'm just the money guy,

232
00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:47,846
Indeed,

233
00:11:49,047 --> 00:11:50,582
Come on, let's go,

234
00:11:54,386 --> 00:11:56,388
Welcome to your new home, Jonathan,

235
00:11:56,989 --> 00:11:59,624
Oh, my God,

236
00:11:59,758 --> 00:12:01,593
And the--
So the couch and the table,

237
00:12:01,726 --> 00:12:03,161
they come with the apartment?

238
00:12:03,295 --> 00:12:04,596
They can if you'd like them to say,

239
00:12:04,729 --> 00:12:05,964
Great, Okay,

240
00:12:06,098 --> 00:12:07,199
Does this outlet work?

241
00:12:07,332 --> 00:12:08,733
Uh, yes, they all work,

242
00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:10,235
I checked them myself,

243
00:12:10,368 --> 00:12:11,870
You see how spacious it is?

244
00:12:12,004 --> 00:12:13,705
Oh, my God,
I didn't see back there, wow,

245
00:12:13,839 --> 00:12:16,508
- Let's take a look,
- Scuff marks on the wall,

246
00:12:17,309 --> 00:12:18,777
Easy to fix,

247
00:12:18,911 --> 00:12:20,045
Do you have another light bulb?

248
00:12:20,178 --> 00:12:21,413
Of course,

249
00:12:24,582 --> 00:12:26,684
Paint's a bit peeling,
We'll need some drywall repair,

250
00:12:26,819 --> 00:12:27,920
Absolutely,

251
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,295
You're gonna have to handle this,

252
00:12:38,096 --> 00:12:40,032
Consider it handled,

253
00:12:40,598 --> 00:12:43,101
Print out this email,

254
00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:44,903
attach it to the lease as a rider,

255
00:12:45,037 --> 00:12:46,939
and Jonathan will sign it,

256
00:12:47,072 --> 00:12:49,207
Personally, I think the place
is charming just the way it is,

257
00:12:50,008 --> 00:12:51,844
Well, I'll look for your email,

258
00:12:52,777 --> 00:12:54,079
- Nice to meet you,
- You too,

259
00:12:54,212 --> 00:12:55,981
Really excited for this,
This is awesome,

260
00:12:56,114 --> 00:12:57,449
Thank you, Good,

261
00:13:00,385 --> 00:13:01,987
Girls, you got yourself a tenant,

262
00:13:02,554 --> 00:13:03,922
Do you have any idea how much

263
00:13:04,056 --> 00:13:05,723
all those repairs are going to cost us?

264
00:13:05,858 --> 00:13:07,826
We need every cent of
Jonathan's first month rent

265
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,928
and security deposit to pay
for the mortgage and the taxes,

266
00:13:10,062 --> 00:13:11,563
Wait, I have an idea,

267
00:13:11,696 --> 00:13:13,398
I will take him down to the Little Branch,

268
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,968
I'll get him wasted,
introduce him to some girls,

269
00:13:16,101 --> 00:13:18,036
he'll forget all about the stupid repairs,

270
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:22,074
Plus, we all know a handyman
who'll do the work for cheap,

271
00:13:31,016 --> 00:13:33,785
On time with 30 seconds to spare,

272
00:13:34,752 --> 00:13:38,656
Tommy boy, you still close out
the bars and pick up the chicks,

273
00:13:39,757 --> 00:13:40,893
Mm,

274
00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:56,808
Hey, Tommy,

275
00:13:57,609 --> 00:14:00,312
How you been?
Haven't seen you around lately,

276
00:14:00,445 --> 00:14:02,314
Hey, babe, What's going on?

277
00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:03,916
Babe?

278
00:14:05,984 --> 00:14:08,153
You don't remember my name, do you?

279
00:14:08,286 --> 00:14:10,188
Sure, but of course I do,
It's uh,,,

280
00:14:10,322 --> 00:14:11,756
Starts with a K,

281
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,027
I let you crash
at my place for three weeks

282
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,561
because you couldn't pay rent,

283
00:14:16,694 --> 00:14:20,098
Kaitlyn! Kristen? You're uh--

284
00:14:20,865 --> 00:14:23,168
The top floor apartment
on Laker and 11th street

285
00:14:23,301 --> 00:14:25,070
above Magnolia Bakery,
where we literally did it--

286
00:14:25,203 --> 00:14:27,940
Kathleen! Oh, sorry, baby,

287
00:14:28,073 --> 00:14:29,908
I was still a little hungover
after the last night,

288
00:14:30,708 --> 00:14:32,877
- I missed you, baby,
- You know what?

289
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,113
Go fuck yourself, Tommy,

290
00:14:35,247 --> 00:14:37,215
You're a total man whore,

291
00:14:49,194 --> 00:14:51,196
God damn George Barrow,

292
00:14:51,329 --> 00:14:52,764
Why did send me here?

293
00:14:52,897 --> 00:14:54,432
He knows how much
I hate that guy,

294
00:14:54,566 --> 00:14:57,802
Oh, hey, baby, You new in town?

295
00:15:07,512 --> 00:15:10,615
"To our sweet tenant, Jonathan,

296
00:15:11,516 --> 00:15:16,854
"May this little box of treats
sweeten your stay in our home,"

297
00:15:21,193 --> 00:15:22,294
Hey, Lizzie,

298
00:15:23,061 --> 00:15:25,263
Got your text saying something
down here needs fixing,

299
00:15:25,397 --> 00:15:27,732
You said it was urgent,

300
00:15:27,865 --> 00:15:29,301
Yes, Tommy,

301
00:15:29,434 --> 00:15:30,935
We have a new tenant moving in on Monday

302
00:15:31,069 --> 00:15:32,570
and we have a whole punch list of things

303
00:15:32,704 --> 00:15:33,871
that we need to fix before then,

304
00:15:34,006 --> 00:15:36,108
Really? Like what?

305
00:15:37,042 --> 00:15:40,278
The place looks like it's still
in, uh, pretty decent shape,

306
00:15:40,412 --> 00:15:41,579
as far as I can remember,

307
00:15:41,713 --> 00:15:42,981
Last time I was here,,,

308
00:15:43,948 --> 00:15:46,718
I'll admit, it was pretty dark,

309
00:15:46,851 --> 00:15:50,088
So you do realize that my sisters and I,

310
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:51,756
we don't make a lot of money,

311
00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:55,093
Yeah, the poor little rich girls

312
00:15:55,227 --> 00:15:56,728
live in a townhouse, make minimum wage,

313
00:15:56,861 --> 00:15:58,330
Yeah, I've heard the stories,

314
00:15:58,463 --> 00:16:00,332
So how much do you think
you're going to charge me

315
00:16:00,465 --> 00:16:01,966
to fix everything on this punch list?

316
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,569
Plus slap on a fresh coat
of paint, of course,

317
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:08,173
I was thinking maybe $500,

318
00:16:10,108 --> 00:16:12,077
What's in the box?

319
00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:14,179
Oh, no, Tommy,
those cupcakes aren't for you,

320
00:16:14,312 --> 00:16:16,048
They're a housewarming present
for Jonathan,

321
00:16:16,181 --> 00:16:18,083
He's coming by later to pick up his keys,

322
00:16:33,898 --> 00:16:35,767
He won't miss just one, right?

323
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,335
No, Tommy, don't,

324
00:16:40,972 --> 00:16:42,274
Yummy,

325
00:16:43,308 --> 00:16:44,709
Tommy, I said no,

326
00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:46,678
You sure, Lizzie?

327
00:16:47,712 --> 00:16:49,547
Because on New Year's, as I recall,

328
00:16:49,681 --> 00:16:52,350
that "no" quickly turned into

329
00:16:52,484 --> 00:16:55,753
a yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

330
00:16:55,887 --> 00:16:58,056
Yes! Yes! Yes!

331
00:16:58,190 --> 00:17:00,925
Tommy, Tommy,
Tommy, Tommy, stop!

332
00:17:01,059 --> 00:17:03,428
- Put down that cupcake or--
- Or you'll what?

333
00:17:03,561 --> 00:17:05,897
Run to the sixth precinct
and get an order of protection?

334
00:17:06,030 --> 00:17:08,766
Cops can't protect you
from your own appetites, Lizzie,

335
00:17:09,334 --> 00:17:11,069
You have no idea how hard it is,

336
00:17:11,203 --> 00:17:14,772
Every day at work,
being surrounded by cupcakes

337
00:17:14,906 --> 00:17:18,543
and frosting and banana cream pudding,

338
00:17:18,676 --> 00:17:20,212
always having to be the good girl,

339
00:17:20,345 --> 00:17:22,080
- always having to say no,
- Why?

340
00:17:22,214 --> 00:17:23,748
'Cause you're waiting
for the day Prince Charming

341
00:17:23,881 --> 00:17:25,583
walks in with your glass slipper?

342
00:17:26,551 --> 00:17:28,353
You know what you want,
Liz Perry,

343
00:17:29,654 --> 00:17:31,556
Just relax and enjoy it,

344
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,162
Oh, my God,

345
00:17:47,172 --> 00:17:48,706
This is really good,

346
00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:52,177
It's, uh-- it's been a while,

347
00:17:55,046 --> 00:17:57,048
Give me 1,000 bucks,
I'll start tomorrow,

348
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:02,787
Elizabeth Perry, the girl
who can't resist a cupcake,

349
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,056
Who would have thought?

350
00:18:08,726 --> 00:18:10,027
Bye,

351
00:18:21,606 --> 00:18:23,608
Hi, I'm looking for Lydia Perry,

352
00:18:23,741 --> 00:18:25,710
Oh, hey, I'm Lydia Perry,

353
00:18:26,211 --> 00:18:27,779
I'm your personal trainer,

354
00:18:27,912 --> 00:18:30,148
Hi, Jim Bedford,
Good to meet you,

355
00:18:30,282 --> 00:18:32,184
So, what brings you to the gym, Jim?

356
00:18:32,317 --> 00:18:34,386
It wasn't really my idea to come here,

357
00:18:35,086 --> 00:18:37,489
Usually the only thing
I exercise is my fingers,

358
00:18:37,622 --> 00:18:39,291
It's typical of most guys,

359
00:18:40,692 --> 00:18:42,794
No, I didn't mean it like that,

360
00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:44,862
I'm-- I'm a software developer,

361
00:18:44,996 --> 00:18:47,832
so I just, you know, spend most
of my time just writing code,

362
00:18:47,965 --> 00:18:49,734
just banging away at the keyboard,

363
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,969
So you enjoy banging, too?

364
00:18:52,804 --> 00:18:54,772
No, hold on, hold on,

365
00:18:54,906 --> 00:18:56,574
No-- What I mean is,

366
00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:59,644
I'm the CEO of a social media startup,

367
00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:01,279
and I'm going on a road show next month

368
00:19:01,413 --> 00:19:02,947
to raise money from investors,

369
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,816
So the VCs thought it would be a good idea

370
00:19:04,949 --> 00:19:07,285
for me to get in shape before, you know,

371
00:19:07,419 --> 00:19:09,321
I collapse in an airport and die,

372
00:19:09,454 --> 00:19:11,022
Wow, social media,

373
00:19:11,155 --> 00:19:13,558
roadshow, investors,

374
00:19:13,691 --> 00:19:15,393
What does your company do?

375
00:19:15,527 --> 00:19:19,030
Well, we developed
an app called Chick Stalkers,

376
00:19:19,163 --> 00:19:21,633
which lets guys rate
other guys ex-girlfriends

377
00:19:21,766 --> 00:19:23,668
by swiping left or right on their phones,

378
00:19:23,801 --> 00:19:25,837
Consumers use it for free,
and we make money

379
00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:27,138
by selling the data that we gathered

380
00:19:27,272 --> 00:19:28,640
to porn sites and the NSA,

381
00:19:28,773 --> 00:19:30,875
I'll have to check it out,

382
00:19:31,008 --> 00:19:32,977
In the meantime, why don't you go ahead

383
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:35,247
and hop on the treadmill
so I can check you out,

384
00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:36,814
See what kind of shape you're in?

385
00:19:36,948 --> 00:19:38,683
- Okay,
- Yep, Right over there,

386
00:20:09,714 --> 00:20:11,015
Now, we're gonna head that way,

387
00:20:13,117 --> 00:20:15,052
Wow, I'm impressed,

388
00:20:15,687 --> 00:20:17,088
Did you play sports in college?

389
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:21,426
Well, I-- I played lacrosse at NYU,

390
00:20:21,559 --> 00:20:23,261
but we were only division three,

391
00:20:23,395 --> 00:20:24,896
Truth be told,
I spent most of my time

392
00:20:25,029 --> 00:20:26,063
warming the bench,

393
00:20:26,197 --> 00:20:27,999
Writing code, I suspect,

394
00:20:28,132 --> 00:20:30,768
Yeah, actually,
I had a teammate, Oh,

395
00:20:30,902 --> 00:20:32,637
He got dumped by this girl with huge tits,

396
00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:34,639
and he dared me to write a program

397
00:20:34,772 --> 00:20:37,108
where I ranked all the girls
at NYU based on their cup size,

398
00:20:37,241 --> 00:20:39,243
It's actually where I got
the idea for Chick Stalkers,

399
00:20:39,377 --> 00:20:41,779
- Cool,
- Yeah,

400
00:20:41,913 --> 00:20:44,282
The only problem we're having
is getting girls to use it,

401
00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:46,284
- Really?
- You know what?

402
00:20:46,418 --> 00:20:48,453
I would actually love
a woman's point of view,

403
00:20:48,586 --> 00:20:50,922
All of our developers
are just horny nerds,

404
00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:55,960
Well, I will definitely
check out your app, Jim Bedford,

405
00:20:57,429 --> 00:20:58,596
See you back here next week,

406
00:21:06,738 --> 00:21:09,607
Oh, bathroom, Yeah,

407
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,822
Guess who I just met at the gym,

408
00:21:27,091 --> 00:21:28,393
Mary,

409
00:21:28,526 --> 00:21:30,462
Mary, I know you're in there

410
00:21:30,595 --> 00:21:32,497
because you never go anywhere
and you don't have a life,

411
00:21:32,630 --> 00:21:35,467
Go away, Lydia,
I'm on deadline with my blog,

412
00:21:40,304 --> 00:21:42,273
So I went to the gym, and I met this guy

413
00:21:42,407 --> 00:21:44,108
who was also named Jim and he's the CEO

414
00:21:44,241 --> 00:21:45,743
of this company called--

415
00:21:47,712 --> 00:21:51,182
"Lindsay dumps boyfriend
to shack up with dad?"

416
00:21:51,315 --> 00:21:52,484
Total clickbait,

417
00:21:53,184 --> 00:21:56,120
Lindsay Lohan checking out townhouses

418
00:21:56,253 --> 00:21:59,924
"in the 10014 with
super broker Kathryn Waverly,

419
00:22:00,057 --> 00:22:02,259
"Sources close to the former
West Village resident

420
00:22:02,394 --> 00:22:05,062
"tell Townhouse Confidential,
blah, blah, blah,"

421
00:22:05,196 --> 00:22:07,164
If I post it now,
I can scoop page six

422
00:22:07,298 --> 00:22:09,534
and the <i>New York Times</i>
real estate section,

423
00:22:10,334 --> 00:22:11,903
Who gave you that tip?

424
00:22:12,036 --> 00:22:13,771
One of the addicts
that hangs out on the stoop?

425
00:22:13,905 --> 00:22:15,172
How do you even know it's true?

426
00:22:15,907 --> 00:22:18,142
I'm a journalist,
I don't reveal my sources,

427
00:22:18,275 --> 00:22:19,611
You'd have more sources

428
00:22:19,744 --> 00:22:21,345
if you left the house once in a while,

429
00:22:21,479 --> 00:22:23,648
I pick out more information
at the gym every day

430
00:22:23,781 --> 00:22:26,884
than you ever will through
your network of street people,

431
00:22:27,385 --> 00:22:29,053
Anyway, good luck,

432
00:22:29,186 --> 00:22:30,455
I'm out of here,

433
00:23:17,134 --> 00:23:19,270
Listen, sister,
If you want to get to the top

434
00:23:19,403 --> 00:23:21,338
of the blogosphere, you've got to get out

435
00:23:21,473 --> 00:23:24,141
of your townhouse and do some
real journalism once in a while,

436
00:23:24,275 --> 00:23:26,410
I can't believe I actually
left my house to meet with you,

437
00:23:26,544 --> 00:23:29,280
I was on deadline with
a Lindsay Lohan exclusive,

438
00:23:29,413 --> 00:23:30,948
I could have been scooped by <i>The Real Deal</i>

439
00:23:31,082 --> 00:23:32,517
or <i>Current New York,</i>

440
00:23:36,187 --> 00:23:38,222
I just texted you
a picture of George Barrow

441
00:23:38,355 --> 00:23:41,726
at the Waverly Diner borrowing
money from a couple of mobsters,

442
00:23:41,859 --> 00:23:44,228
Practically gift wrapped it,
for sobbing out loud,

443
00:23:44,862 --> 00:23:46,698
Now, do you want to bring down

444
00:23:46,831 --> 00:23:49,767
the wicked Prince Charming of
West Village real estate or not?

445
00:23:50,835 --> 00:23:53,037
Sure, I'd love to break
that story and win a Pulitzer,

446
00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:55,139
but how do we know
you're telling the truth?

447
00:23:55,272 --> 00:23:57,509
Why would George Barrow
borrow money from the mob?

448
00:23:57,642 --> 00:23:58,843
He already has a ton of cash,

449
00:23:58,976 --> 00:24:00,444
Not as much as you'd think,

450
00:24:01,378 --> 00:24:02,580
Take a look,

451
00:24:03,180 --> 00:24:05,249
George's check from the Waverly diner,

452
00:24:05,382 --> 00:24:06,951
So, what does that prove?

453
00:24:07,084 --> 00:24:10,121
Well, he only left
a 10% tip, not his usual 25,

454
00:24:11,923 --> 00:24:14,458
My God, you're right,

455
00:24:15,159 --> 00:24:18,996
George is in serious trouble,
Give me all the dirt,

456
00:24:19,130 --> 00:24:20,665
You know what to do,

457
00:24:24,068 --> 00:24:25,169
What are you doing?

458
00:24:25,302 --> 00:24:26,604
It's a burner phone,

459
00:24:26,738 --> 00:24:28,506
Do you really think
I'm that stupid?

460
00:24:29,306 --> 00:24:31,976
But you didn't tell me anything,

461
00:24:32,109 --> 00:24:34,478
I don't even know your name,
How do I get a hold of you?

462
00:24:34,612 --> 00:24:36,247
Just call me Deep Park

463
00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:38,482
and follow the money,
it won't steer you wrong,

464
00:24:52,797 --> 00:24:55,933
Oh, George,
Hi, I wasn't expecting you,

465
00:24:56,067 --> 00:24:58,002
How can I help you today?

466
00:24:58,135 --> 00:25:00,672
Well, it's just one more little thing,

467
00:25:00,805 --> 00:25:03,040
After that contractor came by
to do the repairs

468
00:25:03,174 --> 00:25:04,976
before Jonathan moved in,

469
00:25:05,109 --> 00:25:06,811
you assured me that all the
electrical outlets were working,

470
00:25:06,944 --> 00:25:10,047
but this one clearly is not,

471
00:25:10,181 --> 00:25:11,716
I had one of my electricians come by

472
00:25:11,849 --> 00:25:13,317
and test it this morning,

473
00:25:13,450 --> 00:25:15,186
Well, it was working fine until Jonathan

474
00:25:15,319 --> 00:25:17,221
had his home entertainment
system installed last week,

475
00:25:17,354 --> 00:25:18,389
I checked it myself,

476
00:25:18,522 --> 00:25:21,192
With what? An iPhone?

477
00:25:22,093 --> 00:25:24,729
You can hardly expect my friend to run

478
00:25:24,862 --> 00:25:28,365
a 60-inch flatscreen TV,
a Bose speaker system,

479
00:25:28,499 --> 00:25:31,836
and an Xbox from an outlet that
can barely charge a cell phone,

480
00:25:31,969 --> 00:25:34,071
You're going to have to
call ConEd to upgrade the power,

481
00:25:34,205 --> 00:25:36,040
Excuse me? This is my house,

482
00:25:36,173 --> 00:25:37,408
And it's my sisters' house,

483
00:25:38,109 --> 00:25:39,844
And it was our parents house
until they were struck

484
00:25:39,977 --> 00:25:42,079
by a Green Apple tour bus
crossing 7th Avenue,

485
00:25:42,847 --> 00:25:44,782
Now, we may not have a lot of money,

486
00:25:44,916 --> 00:25:46,417
but we do the best with what we can,

487
00:25:46,550 --> 00:25:48,085
And ever since you showed up here

488
00:25:48,219 --> 00:25:50,054
with your stupid punch list,
I don't know

489
00:25:50,187 --> 00:25:52,223
how we're going to be able
to pay the mortgage this month,

490
00:25:52,356 --> 00:25:54,926
Now hold on a minute,
You're the landlord,

491
00:25:55,059 --> 00:25:57,028
You have an obligation to make repairs

492
00:25:57,161 --> 00:25:58,930
- and provide essential services,
- Like what?

493
00:25:59,063 --> 00:26:02,399
Fix the windows that haven't
been open since the '90s?

494
00:26:02,533 --> 00:26:04,568
Jonathan agreed to
everything on that punch list

495
00:26:04,702 --> 00:26:06,337
when he signed the lease,

496
00:26:06,470 --> 00:26:08,405
Now, if he isn't satisfied
with everything that

497
00:26:08,539 --> 00:26:11,175
my sisters and I have done
to make sure that he is happy,

498
00:26:11,308 --> 00:26:13,778
he can pack up
his speaker system and his Xbox

499
00:26:13,911 --> 00:26:16,080
and he can get his ass out of my house,

500
00:26:16,213 --> 00:26:17,782
But that's not going to happen--

501
00:26:17,915 --> 00:26:19,216
No, no, I'm not finished,

502
00:26:19,350 --> 00:26:21,118
At least Jonathan is a gentleman

503
00:26:21,252 --> 00:26:23,220
and thanks us for doing what we can,

504
00:26:23,354 --> 00:26:24,889
You, on the other hand,

505
00:26:25,022 --> 00:26:27,291
are a world class asshole
who wouldn't even help

506
00:26:27,424 --> 00:26:29,460
his own grandmother cross Bleaker Street,

507
00:26:30,094 --> 00:26:32,630
I know all about your little
plan to buy out the West Village

508
00:26:32,764 --> 00:26:35,099
and turn it into
a hedge funder's Disneyland,

509
00:26:35,232 --> 00:26:38,069
but there is one house that you are never

510
00:26:38,202 --> 00:26:42,439
getting your hands on,
and that is this one,

511
00:26:42,573 --> 00:26:44,608
Now, get out!

512
00:26:45,409 --> 00:26:46,510
Okay,

513
00:26:47,645 --> 00:26:48,980
So what's the problem?

514
00:26:49,113 --> 00:26:50,648
He pays his rent, doesn't he?

515
00:26:50,782 --> 00:26:52,784
It's not that, really,
It's just--

516
00:26:52,917 --> 00:26:55,586
Every day, George Barrow comes
over to Jonathan's apartment

517
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,389
and finds one more
little thing wrong with it,

518
00:26:58,522 --> 00:27:00,624
One more little thing
that then my sisters and I

519
00:27:00,758 --> 00:27:02,193
have to pay for to repair,

520
00:27:02,827 --> 00:27:04,628
- So, just get Tommy to do it,
- Hmph,

521
00:27:05,629 --> 00:27:07,298
Lord knows he'll do it for free,

522
00:27:08,232 --> 00:27:10,802
So all you gotta do is get
on your little knees and behave,

523
00:27:13,104 --> 00:27:15,973
'Cause if you don't, I will
because that Tommy is hot,

524
00:27:16,107 --> 00:27:18,042
Shut up!

525
00:27:19,610 --> 00:27:21,846
So what?
Tommy and I hooked up one time

526
00:27:21,979 --> 00:27:24,081
at a New Year's Eve party
that I threw at my house,

527
00:27:24,215 --> 00:27:25,883
We were drunk, it didn't count,

528
00:27:26,617 --> 00:27:28,686
And I did ask Tommy
to help me with the repairs,

529
00:27:28,820 --> 00:27:30,487
but he flaked on me midway through,

530
00:27:31,956 --> 00:27:33,290
Anyway, when George came over

531
00:27:33,424 --> 00:27:35,026
to Jonathan's apartment yesterday,

532
00:27:35,159 --> 00:27:36,694
he started complaining
about an electrical outlet

533
00:27:36,828 --> 00:27:39,030
that wasn't working
and I just-- I lost it,

534
00:27:40,597 --> 00:27:42,299
Now, I'm afraid
I'm going to lose Jonathan, too,

535
00:27:46,670 --> 00:27:47,839
So what's the plan, honey?

536
00:27:48,505 --> 00:27:50,141
I know you got one,
You always do,

537
00:27:50,975 --> 00:27:52,710
Well, this one's Lydia's idea,

538
00:27:52,844 --> 00:27:55,046
We're going to throw
Jonathan a party on Friday night

539
00:27:55,179 --> 00:27:56,781
at the Little Branch,

540
00:27:56,914 --> 00:27:58,783
Invite some cute girls,
get the guys trashed,

541
00:27:58,916 --> 00:28:00,517
and before they know it,
they'll forget all about

542
00:28:00,651 --> 00:28:02,386
that stupid electrical outlet,

543
00:28:03,454 --> 00:28:06,223
Count me in,
I'll be there with bells on,

544
00:28:06,357 --> 00:28:08,359
Yes!

545
00:28:09,293 --> 00:28:10,361
All right,

546
00:28:17,301 --> 00:28:19,203
Hey, Billie, Sorry, I'm late,

547
00:28:19,336 --> 00:28:21,572
My hair dryer wasn't working again,

548
00:28:21,705 --> 00:28:23,174
Have you seen Jonathan?

549
00:28:23,307 --> 00:28:25,042
We need to make sure
he's having a good time,

550
00:28:25,176 --> 00:28:27,211
- George too, I guess,
- Yes, ma'am,

551
00:28:27,344 --> 00:28:29,380
I think he's over there
talking to your sister

552
00:28:29,513 --> 00:28:31,215
- and her friends from the gym,
- Come on, George,

553
00:28:31,348 --> 00:28:33,017
- just have one drink,
- Jonathan,

554
00:28:33,150 --> 00:28:35,452
You know that I am training
for the half marathon

555
00:28:35,586 --> 00:28:36,888
in Battery Park next month,

556
00:28:37,421 --> 00:28:39,891
Even one drink
could derail my preparation,

557
00:28:40,024 --> 00:28:41,558
You should try a master cleanse,

558
00:28:41,692 --> 00:28:43,427
Yeah, that worked for me
when I was getting ready

559
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,830
for the Miss International
Triathlon Competition,

560
00:28:45,963 --> 00:28:47,932
For me, it's all about clean living,

561
00:28:48,833 --> 00:28:51,302
Three meals a day,
eight hours of sleep a night,,,

562
00:28:52,770 --> 00:28:54,138
five mile run up and down

563
00:28:54,271 --> 00:28:55,907
the West Side Highway every morning,

564
00:28:56,373 --> 00:28:59,944
Sounds like a very
interesting lifestyle, George,

565
00:29:00,077 --> 00:29:01,612
but what do you do for fun?

566
00:29:03,848 --> 00:29:06,417
Oh, George doesn't believe
in the word "fun,"

567
00:29:06,550 --> 00:29:07,885
Yeah, back when
we were in business school,

568
00:29:08,019 --> 00:29:09,486
George was always hitting the books

569
00:29:09,620 --> 00:29:11,222
while the rest of us were getting trashed,

570
00:29:11,355 --> 00:29:13,624
That's why he got
the GPA and I got the girls,

571
00:29:16,393 --> 00:29:17,962
Be fair, Jonathan,

572
00:29:18,095 --> 00:29:19,931
You're making me out
to be some kind of hermit,

573
00:29:20,064 --> 00:29:23,567
I'm not looking for a woman
at all at this point in my life,

574
00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:26,237
I'm only here right now because
Jonathan dragged me along,

575
00:29:30,741 --> 00:29:31,943
Did somebody say drag?

576
00:29:34,245 --> 00:29:37,148
I-- I think I have to go,
Big day tomorrow,

577
00:29:37,281 --> 00:29:39,416
Oh, you're not going anywhere, sweetheart,

578
00:29:41,418 --> 00:29:43,988
Drink this, It'll put
some hair on your chest,

579
00:29:46,690 --> 00:29:49,326
Billie, what are you doing?
You're gonna ruin everything,

580
00:29:49,961 --> 00:29:52,964
George, I hope you can forgive
my sister and her friends,

581
00:29:53,097 --> 00:29:54,665
They're just trying
to show you a good time,

582
00:29:56,333 --> 00:29:57,701
Calm down, Lizzie,

583
00:29:57,835 --> 00:29:59,770
We're just having a little fun, right?

584
00:29:59,904 --> 00:30:01,572
Yeah,

585
00:30:01,705 --> 00:30:04,876
Now, George, when was
the last time you got laid?

586
00:30:05,442 --> 00:30:07,478
Because even though
Lizzie here thinks

587
00:30:07,611 --> 00:30:09,313
you're a world class asshole,

588
00:30:10,247 --> 00:30:13,117
I think you'll melt
like butter in my mouth,

589
00:30:15,619 --> 00:30:16,954
Bring us another bottle of Grey Goose,

590
00:30:17,654 --> 00:30:19,957
This is the best party I've
been to in a really long time,

591
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,963
Girlfriend, Like your style,

592
00:30:44,148 --> 00:30:46,017
Ugh, who is it?

593
00:30:56,627 --> 00:30:58,996
- Hello?
<i>- Are you still in bed?</i>

594
00:30:59,130 --> 00:31:01,098
Charlotte, who died?

595
00:31:01,232 --> 00:31:02,967
<i>No one yet, but it's going to be you</i>

596
00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:04,835
<i>if you don't tell me why I wasn't invited</i>

597
00:31:04,969 --> 00:31:07,038
<i>to that bash you threw
at the Little Branch last night,</i>

598
00:31:07,171 --> 00:31:09,640
I am so sorry, Let me guess,

599
00:31:09,773 --> 00:31:11,943
You read about it in
<i>Townhouse Confidential?</i>

600
00:31:12,076 --> 00:31:14,045
<i>I know, I'm such a nerd,</i>

601
00:31:14,178 --> 00:31:16,713
<i>But still, I am one of your oldest friends</i>

602
00:31:16,847 --> 00:31:18,482
<i>and I only live two doors down the block,</i>

603
00:31:18,615 --> 00:31:20,484
Oh, my head,

604
00:31:21,052 --> 00:31:22,819
<i>By the way,
Lizzie, did you get a chance</i>

605
00:31:22,954 --> 00:31:24,888
<i>to check out Straight
Easy Personals today?</i>

606
00:31:25,022 --> 00:31:28,625
Charlotte, I told you, I am done
with those dating sites,

607
00:31:28,759 --> 00:31:30,394
<i>Hold on a minute,</i>

608
00:31:30,527 --> 00:31:33,264
<i>The guy in this ad here
sounds perfect for you,</i>

609
00:31:33,397 --> 00:31:35,666
<i>Ready? Real estate pro,</i>

610
00:31:35,799 --> 00:31:38,869
<i>Fed up with cheaters and game players,</i>

611
00:31:39,003 --> 00:31:40,204
<i>Me, too,</i>

612
00:31:40,337 --> 00:31:43,874
<i>He's 34, 6'2,</i>

613
00:31:44,008 --> 00:31:46,978
<i>190, sensitive, sincere, and single,</i>

614
00:31:47,111 --> 00:31:50,114
<i>"My ideal date would be
to come over to your place,</i>

615
00:31:50,247 --> 00:31:53,517
<i>whip up some spaghetti
carbonara, wash the dishes,</i>

616
00:31:53,650 --> 00:31:56,187
<i>put them away,
then I would carry you to bed,</i>

617
00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:01,058
<i>give you a relaxing massage,
and bang you all night long,"</i>

618
00:32:01,192 --> 00:32:04,128
Charlotte, that has to be a joke,

619
00:32:04,261 --> 00:32:08,699
There is no guy who's like that,
who's single and straight

620
00:32:08,832 --> 00:32:11,368
and smart and good looking
and lives in New York City,

621
00:32:11,502 --> 00:32:13,104
<i>Well, it's your call, Lizzie,</i>

622
00:32:13,237 --> 00:32:15,106
<i>Like they say in those lotto commercials,</i>

623
00:32:15,239 --> 00:32:16,940
<i>you got to be in it to win it,</i>

624
00:32:17,074 --> 00:32:19,410
I'm going to bed now, okay?

625
00:32:19,543 --> 00:32:21,445
Goodbye,

626
00:33:07,224 --> 00:33:09,793
- Elizabeth Perry?
- Do I know you?

627
00:33:09,926 --> 00:33:13,430
Sal, Sal Carmine,
You answered my ad, right?

628
00:33:13,564 --> 00:33:15,166
Oh, sorry,

629
00:33:15,299 --> 00:33:17,868
I was expecting someone
a little bit different,

630
00:33:20,271 --> 00:33:22,239
Perhaps a little bit taller?

631
00:33:22,373 --> 00:33:25,342
Yeah, I get that a lot,
That's why I put 6'2,

632
00:33:25,842 --> 00:33:30,881
You know, chicks are genetically
programmed to dig taller guys,

633
00:33:31,014 --> 00:33:32,383
- Are we?
- Guys like me,

634
00:33:32,516 --> 00:33:34,017
in the 5'6 and under club,

635
00:33:34,151 --> 00:33:35,919
we don't stand a chance,

636
00:33:36,053 --> 00:33:38,055
Yeah, and I did my homework
on those dating sites, too,

637
00:33:38,189 --> 00:33:43,327
Chicks don't like: bald guys,
fat guys, or married guys,

638
00:33:43,460 --> 00:33:45,629
They like the Prince Charming type,

639
00:33:45,762 --> 00:33:49,233
You know, like Mark Darcy
from the <i>Bridget Jones Diary,</i>

640
00:33:49,366 --> 00:33:51,202
Hold on a second,
Are you married?

641
00:33:51,335 --> 00:33:53,104
Yeah,

642
00:33:53,704 --> 00:33:56,407
I got three kids in
Catholic school on Long Island,

643
00:33:56,540 --> 00:33:58,209
Don't get me started on the tuition,

644
00:33:58,842 --> 00:34:00,977
You know, my wife, she's a decent cook,

645
00:34:01,112 --> 00:34:02,413
but she don't want to give me head

646
00:34:02,546 --> 00:34:04,215
unless I bathe her toes in Guccis,

647
00:34:04,348 --> 00:34:06,217
Yeah, so I thought, you know,
getting on a dating site

648
00:34:06,350 --> 00:34:08,685
would be a hell of a lot
cheaper than hiring a hooker,

649
00:34:08,819 --> 00:34:10,721
Oh, my God, You are disgusting!
I'm out of here!

650
00:34:10,854 --> 00:34:12,223
Wait, come here,
Where you going?

651
00:34:12,856 --> 00:34:15,259
Come on, let's go back to
my Lexus, I got a big back seat,

652
00:34:15,392 --> 00:34:17,594
I-- What are we,
in high school? Absolutely not,

653
00:34:17,728 --> 00:34:19,096
You know you want me, baby,

654
00:34:19,230 --> 00:34:20,764
- Come on,
- I do not,

655
00:34:20,897 --> 00:34:22,466
Let me play
connect the dots on your shirt,

656
00:34:22,599 --> 00:34:24,401
Oh, my God, Get away
from my house, you creep,

657
00:34:26,237 --> 00:34:29,740
Take my card,
I'm a licensed mortgage broker,

658
00:34:30,574 --> 00:34:32,042
Do you need to refinance your loan?

659
00:34:32,176 --> 00:34:33,744
I'll get you the cheapest rates in town,

660
00:34:33,877 --> 00:34:35,279
My loan's just fine, thank you,

661
00:34:35,412 --> 00:34:37,281
Listen, by the look of your house,

662
00:34:37,414 --> 00:34:39,516
it looks like you're going
to need some renovations,

663
00:34:39,650 --> 00:34:42,553
And you? You look like
you seriously need to get laid,

664
00:34:42,686 --> 00:34:44,221
Oh, Goodbye,

665
00:34:44,988 --> 00:34:46,457
- Call me,
- Never!

666
00:34:51,862 --> 00:34:53,096
ConEd bill,

667
00:34:53,697 --> 00:34:56,066
Ooh, Pottery Barn catalog, Okay,

668
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:57,734
Green Piece solicitation,

669
00:34:58,702 --> 00:35:00,804
Hudson River Bank? What?

670
00:35:14,117 --> 00:35:15,419
Default?

671
00:35:17,254 --> 00:35:21,358
Forclose-- What? Oh, my God,

672
00:35:36,139 --> 00:35:37,908
Good morning, Lizzie,

673
00:35:38,041 --> 00:35:40,076
Oh, don't you think it's a little early

674
00:35:40,211 --> 00:35:42,446
in the day to be drinking alone?

675
00:35:42,579 --> 00:35:44,348
Good news,

676
00:35:46,817 --> 00:35:49,586
So, anyway, what did you
want to talk to me about?

677
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:52,956
- Is it business or personal?
- Both,

678
00:35:53,089 --> 00:35:56,527
Turns out my Prince Charming
from the Street Easy Personals

679
00:35:56,660 --> 00:35:59,996
was a married creep from Long Island,

680
00:36:00,697 --> 00:36:03,534
And then, I got a love letter
yesterday from the bank

681
00:36:03,667 --> 00:36:05,736
saying that they're going
to repossess the house,

682
00:36:07,271 --> 00:36:08,439
The bank sent you a foreclosure notice?

683
00:36:08,572 --> 00:36:10,106
Yup,

684
00:36:10,241 --> 00:36:11,542
The mortgage payment
is supposed to come out

685
00:36:11,675 --> 00:36:13,544
of your checking account every month,

686
00:36:13,677 --> 00:36:15,212
Have you been receiving any
calls from collection agencies?

687
00:36:15,346 --> 00:36:16,980
No, Ever since you set me up on autopay,

688
00:36:17,113 --> 00:36:18,615
I haven't missed a payment,

689
00:36:18,749 --> 00:36:19,950
You're not only a great friend, Charlotte,

690
00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:21,117
you are an excellent bookkeeper,

691
00:36:21,252 --> 00:36:22,419
I know,

692
00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:24,921
Hold on a minute,

693
00:36:25,989 --> 00:36:27,691
Remember that time you went
to the Hudson River Bank

694
00:36:27,824 --> 00:36:29,693
and I helped you apply
for a home equity credit line?

695
00:36:29,826 --> 00:36:31,562
- Yeah,
- Whatever happened with that?

696
00:36:31,695 --> 00:36:33,664
The bank gave us
a $100,000 line of credit,

697
00:36:33,797 --> 00:36:35,266
but I never used it,

698
00:36:35,399 --> 00:36:36,833
You know how I feel about borrowing money

699
00:36:36,967 --> 00:36:38,335
that I can't pay back,

700
00:36:38,469 --> 00:36:40,003
The bank sent us a book of checks,

701
00:36:40,136 --> 00:36:42,138
which I put in my desk
drawer and never touched,

702
00:36:51,214 --> 00:36:53,250
No!

703
00:36:54,751 --> 00:36:56,420
So then, I turn around

704
00:36:56,553 --> 00:36:59,290
and this dude was like,
"Hey, can I buy you shot?"

705
00:36:59,423 --> 00:37:01,525
He was so hot,
You probably saw him,

706
00:37:01,658 --> 00:37:04,261
He just left, actually,

707
00:37:05,829 --> 00:37:07,698
Another family meeting,

708
00:37:07,831 --> 00:37:11,535
We haven't spent this much time
together since Mom and Dad died,

709
00:37:15,406 --> 00:37:18,074
Lydia, sit down,
This is serious,

710
00:37:24,848 --> 00:37:27,584
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line

711
00:37:27,718 --> 00:37:28,952
out of my desk drawer,

712
00:37:29,085 --> 00:37:31,488
What? How did you let that happen?

713
00:37:31,622 --> 00:37:33,557
Me? Maybe you would know
something about this

714
00:37:33,690 --> 00:37:35,225
if you weren't so drunk last night,

715
00:37:35,359 --> 00:37:36,827
- So this is my fault?
- Well, maybe,

716
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,929
you're the only one who lets in random men

717
00:37:39,062 --> 00:37:40,397
at three o'clock in the morning,

718
00:37:40,531 --> 00:37:42,933
Sisters, please, can we just work together

719
00:37:43,066 --> 00:37:44,735
for, like, five minutes?

720
00:37:44,868 --> 00:37:46,470
You're right, Mary,

721
00:37:46,603 --> 00:37:48,138
The home equity credit line
that we took out

722
00:37:48,271 --> 00:37:50,307
gives the bank the right to sell our house

723
00:37:50,441 --> 00:37:52,543
after three missed mortgage payments,

724
00:37:52,676 --> 00:37:56,847
That means we have seven days
to come up with $100,000,

725
00:37:56,980 --> 00:37:59,316
$100,000?

726
00:37:59,450 --> 00:38:02,252
No, No, You're so stupid, Liz,

727
00:38:02,386 --> 00:38:04,321
I studied mortgage financing at NYU,

728
00:38:04,455 --> 00:38:06,423
and I can tell you that
a bank can't just foreclose

729
00:38:06,557 --> 00:38:08,024
on your house after
a couple of missed payments,

730
00:38:08,158 --> 00:38:09,693
- It could take years,
- No, Lydia,

731
00:38:09,826 --> 00:38:11,662
there's a clause in our contract,

732
00:38:11,795 --> 00:38:13,464
The three strikes you're out rule,

733
00:38:13,597 --> 00:38:15,466
I guess that's why the guys
over at Hudson River Bank

734
00:38:15,599 --> 00:38:16,967
gave us such a great rate,

735
00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:18,669
But that's mortgage fraud,

736
00:38:18,802 --> 00:38:20,804
We could sue them or expose them

737
00:38:20,937 --> 00:38:22,806
on the <i>Daily Beast</i> or <i>BuzzFeed,</i>

738
00:38:22,939 --> 00:38:24,475
I think we need to go to the police,

739
00:38:24,608 --> 00:38:26,009
Okay, Don't worry,

740
00:38:26,142 --> 00:38:27,478
I know some guys down at the gym

741
00:38:27,611 --> 00:38:29,212
who will be happy to bail us out,

742
00:38:29,346 --> 00:38:31,147
I'll put out the word on
<i>Townhouse Confidential,</i>

743
00:38:31,281 --> 00:38:33,049
Are you kidding me? Fine,

744
00:38:33,183 --> 00:38:35,218
I will go down there and talk
to Detective Ortiz myself,

745
00:38:45,496 --> 00:38:46,763
Detective Ortiz,

746
00:38:46,897 --> 00:38:48,298
<i>Oh, dios mio,</i>

747
00:38:48,432 --> 00:38:51,368
Elizabeth Perry, We meet again,

748
00:38:51,502 --> 00:38:53,169
You remember me?

749
00:38:53,303 --> 00:38:56,973
How could I forget a damsel
who's always in distress?

750
00:38:57,107 --> 00:38:58,509
What is it this time?

751
00:38:58,642 --> 00:39:00,076
Your-- your grandmother's pearl necklace?

752
00:39:00,210 --> 00:39:01,812
Your sister's diamond earring?

753
00:39:02,278 --> 00:39:04,415
A solar eclipse
over Washington Square park?

754
00:39:04,548 --> 00:39:05,816
No, Detective Ortiz,

755
00:39:05,949 --> 00:39:07,684
This time it's something serious,

756
00:39:07,818 --> 00:39:10,253
Someone broke into our house
and stole the checkbook

757
00:39:10,387 --> 00:39:11,588
for our home equity credit line,

758
00:39:11,722 --> 00:39:13,457
They wrote a bunch of checks

759
00:39:13,590 --> 00:39:15,291
and drained all of the equity
out of our townhouse,

760
00:39:15,426 --> 00:39:17,127
Now, the bank wants to take the house

761
00:39:17,260 --> 00:39:18,729
because we haven't been
making payments on the money

762
00:39:18,862 --> 00:39:20,296
that we didn't know we borrowed,

763
00:39:20,431 --> 00:39:21,798
Tragic,

764
00:39:21,932 --> 00:39:24,034
When did this happen?
Last night?

765
00:39:24,167 --> 00:39:26,670
I don't know, I just noticed the
checkbook missing this morning,

766
00:39:26,803 --> 00:39:28,238
but it could have happened months ago,

767
00:39:28,371 --> 00:39:31,007
Do you have any idea
who might have taken it?

768
00:39:31,141 --> 00:39:33,243
Has anyone unusual been
to the houses recently?

769
00:39:33,910 --> 00:39:36,012
A plumber? A FedEx guy?

770
00:39:36,146 --> 00:39:37,848
Professor Dumbledore?

771
00:39:37,981 --> 00:39:39,850
Well, my sister,
Lydia, does bring home

772
00:39:39,983 --> 00:39:41,452
all these random men
just about every weekend,

773
00:39:41,585 --> 00:39:43,520
- Oh, yeah,
- And then on New Year's,

774
00:39:43,654 --> 00:39:46,156
there was this handyman

775
00:39:46,289 --> 00:39:48,058
and a lot of champagne
and a couple cupcakes--

776
00:39:48,191 --> 00:39:49,493
No,

777
00:39:49,626 --> 00:39:50,661
Here's my card,

778
00:39:51,862 --> 00:39:54,397
If you think of any more
information, give me a call,

779
00:39:54,531 --> 00:39:57,233
In the meantime,
if we see anybody walking down

780
00:39:57,367 --> 00:39:59,670
Bleaker Street
with a suitcase full of cash,

781
00:39:59,803 --> 00:40:01,204
we'll give you a call,

782
00:40:05,676 --> 00:40:07,944
Well, Jim,
I think we'll both will agree

783
00:40:08,078 --> 00:40:10,313
that I've added a lot
of value to the development

784
00:40:10,447 --> 00:40:11,882
of the Chick Stalkers app,

785
00:40:12,015 --> 00:40:14,084
I mean, come on,
downloads have gone way up

786
00:40:14,217 --> 00:40:16,720
now that I've clued you
into what women really want,

787
00:40:16,853 --> 00:40:18,555
Didn't really expect to get a sales pitch

788
00:40:18,689 --> 00:40:19,956
this early in the morning,

789
00:40:21,091 --> 00:40:22,526
That's not what I'm talking about,

790
00:40:23,359 --> 00:40:24,728
Okay, okay, You know what?

791
00:40:24,861 --> 00:40:26,563
I will talk to my DCs and I will see

792
00:40:26,697 --> 00:40:28,398
if I can get you
some friends and family shares

793
00:40:28,532 --> 00:40:30,133
before we go on the roadshow,

794
00:40:30,266 --> 00:40:32,936
How can you think of money
at a time like this, Jim?

795
00:40:33,069 --> 00:40:35,939
Can't you see that
what I'm really looking for,,,

796
00:40:36,740 --> 00:40:38,108
is love?

797
00:40:38,642 --> 00:40:40,577
- Love?
- Mm-hm,

798
00:40:40,711 --> 00:40:42,679
But you told me you were the hookup queen

799
00:40:42,813 --> 00:40:44,347
of the West Village,

800
00:40:44,481 --> 00:40:45,816
That's where you got all those great ideas

801
00:40:45,949 --> 00:40:47,217
for Chick Stalkers, right?

802
00:40:47,884 --> 00:40:51,588
Yes, but now that
I've met you, Jim, I've changed,

803
00:40:52,288 --> 00:40:56,593
Now all I want is to
settle down with a man I love,

804
00:40:56,727 --> 00:41:01,431
cuddle up in our 25 foot wide
townhouse west of 7th Avenue,

805
00:41:01,565 --> 00:41:04,367
and just pump out lots of babies,

806
00:41:05,168 --> 00:41:07,370
I see you've been
reading my Bumble profile,

807
00:41:08,171 --> 00:41:13,443
It's true, I want to settle down
with a nice, old fashioned girl,

808
00:41:13,577 --> 00:41:15,178
But, Lydia,,,

809
00:41:15,311 --> 00:41:17,147
unless you've had a personality transplant

810
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:20,784
in the last 24 hours,
that girl is just not you,

811
00:41:21,918 --> 00:41:25,922
You look scorching hot
in those Lululemon shorts,

812
00:41:26,056 --> 00:41:29,492
but I love you for your mind,

813
00:41:29,626 --> 00:41:31,862
- Do you want the truth?
- Yes,

814
00:41:31,995 --> 00:41:33,463
Well, okay,

815
00:41:34,097 --> 00:41:36,667
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line

816
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,335
off of my sister Lizzie's desk
and now we have to get

817
00:41:39,469 --> 00:41:42,172
our hands on $100,000 by next week

818
00:41:42,305 --> 00:41:44,007
or the bank takes our house,

819
00:41:44,507 --> 00:41:46,543
Well, that's terrible,
I had no idea,

820
00:41:46,677 --> 00:41:50,614
You know, I actually really
hate that stupid brownstone

821
00:41:50,747 --> 00:41:52,182
that we inherited from our parents,

822
00:41:52,315 --> 00:41:54,384
But my sisters won't sell it

823
00:41:54,517 --> 00:41:55,952
and I'm the only one in the house

824
00:41:56,086 --> 00:41:59,189
who has any brains or makes any money,

825
00:42:01,424 --> 00:42:02,826
You're trying to help your sisters?

826
00:42:03,493 --> 00:42:05,361
You really do have family values,

827
00:42:05,495 --> 00:42:06,763
My sweet Lydia,

828
00:42:08,231 --> 00:42:09,900
I never would have guessed,

829
00:42:27,784 --> 00:42:29,252
I hope you like it,

830
00:42:29,385 --> 00:42:31,321
- Cheers,
- Cheers,

831
00:42:35,525 --> 00:42:38,394
Wow, those cupcakes look so good,

832
00:42:39,162 --> 00:42:40,563
You know, I love a woman

833
00:42:40,697 --> 00:42:42,265
who knows her way around the kitchen,

834
00:42:42,398 --> 00:42:45,435
Oh, I didn't make those myself,
I just iced them,

835
00:42:45,568 --> 00:42:47,871
I'm the assistant chief
manager at Magnolia Bakery,

836
00:42:48,004 --> 00:42:49,840
Our bakers bake those fresh every day,

837
00:42:50,707 --> 00:42:52,876
I bet you your oven is pretty fresh,

838
00:42:53,009 --> 00:42:55,679
My oven is actually off, Thanks,

839
00:42:56,179 --> 00:42:57,513
You know what?

840
00:42:57,648 --> 00:42:58,882
Let's get down to business, shall we?

841
00:42:59,015 --> 00:43:00,884
I would love that, Yes, please,

842
00:43:01,017 --> 00:43:06,823
So, how much money do you make
working at this cupcake shop?

843
00:43:06,957 --> 00:43:09,225
I get $17 an hour
plus a share of the tip jar,

844
00:43:09,359 --> 00:43:12,462
And Magnolia's isn't just a cupcake shop,

845
00:43:12,595 --> 00:43:14,430
Tourists come from
all over the world to taste

846
00:43:14,564 --> 00:43:17,668
the baked goods that put
<i>Sex in the City</i> on the map,

847
00:43:20,370 --> 00:43:23,039
All right, well, how about your sisters?

848
00:43:23,506 --> 00:43:25,709
What do they contribute
to the household income?

849
00:43:25,842 --> 00:43:29,813
I'd say altogether we bring in
about $125,000 a year,

850
00:43:29,946 --> 00:43:31,581
Okay, based on your income

851
00:43:31,715 --> 00:43:34,117
and the rent you're getting
from the apartment,

852
00:43:34,250 --> 00:43:35,819
I could probably
get you a new mortgage in,

853
00:43:35,952 --> 00:43:38,922
you know, like, say, a couple of months,

854
00:43:40,223 --> 00:43:42,826
Oh, um,,, we actually need it by next week,

855
00:43:42,959 --> 00:43:45,461
Otherwise the bank
is going to take our house,

856
00:43:51,234 --> 00:43:52,535
Oh,

857
00:43:52,669 --> 00:43:54,838
Well, you know,

858
00:43:54,971 --> 00:43:57,240
I could maybe talk to the bank,

859
00:43:57,373 --> 00:43:59,009
Oh, yeah,

860
00:43:59,142 --> 00:44:02,913
- And maybe speed up the process,
- That would be great,

861
00:44:03,046 --> 00:44:06,416
If there's just, like,
one thing you could do for me,

862
00:44:06,549 --> 00:44:08,384
Oh, um, Sal,
I'm not that kind of girl,

863
00:44:08,985 --> 00:44:10,553
Oh, Looks like the power went out,

864
00:44:10,687 --> 00:44:12,488
Better go check on that,
You know your way out,

865
00:44:12,622 --> 00:44:14,524
I'll get you that mortgage right away,

866
00:44:21,264 --> 00:44:22,665
- Who's there?
- Ah! Oh, my God,

867
00:44:22,799 --> 00:44:24,400
This is my house, Who are you?

868
00:44:25,068 --> 00:44:26,837
George Barrow?

869
00:44:26,970 --> 00:44:29,039
You think you can just burst
in here whenever you please?

870
00:44:29,172 --> 00:44:30,974
Well, I could just as easily ask you

871
00:44:31,107 --> 00:44:32,608
the same question, Elizabeth,

872
00:44:32,743 --> 00:44:34,610
The lease Jonathan signed
does not permit you

873
00:44:34,745 --> 00:44:37,447
to enter his apartment without
three days written notice

874
00:44:37,580 --> 00:44:38,614
unless there's an emergency,

875
00:44:38,749 --> 00:44:40,516
Oh, there was an emergency,

876
00:44:40,650 --> 00:44:42,418
And the last time I checked,

877
00:44:42,552 --> 00:44:44,587
your name is not on the lease
as an additional occupant,

878
00:44:44,721 --> 00:44:47,423
So, why did you come over here
unannounced on a Saturday night?

879
00:44:47,557 --> 00:44:50,493
I came here to fix that faulty outlet

880
00:44:50,626 --> 00:44:52,428
you and your contractor
could never seem to fix

881
00:44:52,562 --> 00:44:55,999
before Jonathan flies back
from California tomorrow night,

882
00:44:56,132 --> 00:44:58,234
And then the electricity went out,

883
00:45:02,505 --> 00:45:04,407
Oh, Damn it,

884
00:45:06,042 --> 00:45:08,745
Yep, Yeah,
That's an entire blackout,

885
00:45:08,879 --> 00:45:10,580
Yeah, all of Lower Manhattan,

886
00:45:10,713 --> 00:45:12,783
Okay, okay,

887
00:45:12,916 --> 00:45:14,785
well, now Jonathan won't have
any electricity at all,

888
00:45:16,152 --> 00:45:17,353
Do you happen to have a generator?

889
00:45:17,921 --> 00:45:20,190
No, but I might have
some leftover firewood

890
00:45:20,323 --> 00:45:21,591
from Hurricane Sandy,

891
00:45:22,558 --> 00:45:24,127
- Oh, you were here for that?
- Yeah,

892
00:45:24,260 --> 00:45:26,062
I was in this house
for six days with nothing,

893
00:45:26,196 --> 00:45:27,931
- It was awful,
- Oh, I remember,

894
00:45:28,064 --> 00:45:32,002
Yeah, I made a fire
in my townhouse for Sandy,

895
00:45:32,635 --> 00:45:37,107
Oh, Would you
want to make one here for me?

896
00:45:38,741 --> 00:45:41,344
Yes, Yes, I would,

897
00:45:42,145 --> 00:45:43,646
All right, Follow me,

898
00:45:44,447 --> 00:45:45,648
Okay,

899
00:45:46,549 --> 00:45:47,583
- Well, cheers to you,
- Cheers,

900
00:45:51,687 --> 00:45:53,723
I mean, I guess I am partial
to dormer windows

901
00:45:53,857 --> 00:45:55,826
because I grew up in
a federal style townhouse,

902
00:45:55,959 --> 00:46:00,130
but still, Greek revival,
it leaves me cold,

903
00:46:00,263 --> 00:46:01,898
Oh, same here,

904
00:46:02,032 --> 00:46:04,034
You know those Italianate
brownstones on 9th street?

905
00:46:04,167 --> 00:46:06,803
I think they should be
banished to Brooklyn Heights,

906
00:46:08,604 --> 00:46:11,374
I have no idea you were
a townhouse junkie, too,

907
00:46:12,008 --> 00:46:13,743
Born and bred
right here in the West Village,

908
00:46:14,544 --> 00:46:16,412
It's funny that
we've never hung out before,

909
00:46:18,281 --> 00:46:20,283
Two sides to the story, though, right?

910
00:46:20,416 --> 00:46:22,318
I mean, on the one hand,
everybody hates you

911
00:46:22,452 --> 00:46:24,254
because you get to live in your own

912
00:46:24,387 --> 00:46:26,622
little castle in the West Village,

913
00:46:27,157 --> 00:46:30,426
But on the other hand,
there's a million problems

914
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,829
to deal with every single day,

915
00:46:32,963 --> 00:46:34,965
Yeah, for me, those problems are mice

916
00:46:35,098 --> 00:46:38,001
and bugs and the radiators
that hiss all winter long,

917
00:46:39,069 --> 00:46:42,305
But what problems could you
possibly have, George Barrow?

918
00:46:43,039 --> 00:46:44,674
Oh, trust me,

919
00:46:44,807 --> 00:46:47,477
Being the crown prince
of West Village real estate

920
00:46:47,610 --> 00:46:49,479
is not all it's cracked out to be,

921
00:46:49,612 --> 00:46:52,515
Oh, why not? Because you have to
share your castle with a queen?

922
00:46:54,317 --> 00:46:55,986
Don't even get me started on my mother,

923
00:46:57,020 --> 00:46:58,521
She's the one who wants to build a dynasty

924
00:46:58,654 --> 00:47:00,823
in the West Village, not me,

925
00:47:01,824 --> 00:47:06,496
All I ever wanted was
to be an architect like my dad,

926
00:47:09,565 --> 00:47:10,867
Oh, um,,,

927
00:47:11,001 --> 00:47:14,170
Oh, my, Look at this, All right,

928
00:47:19,709 --> 00:47:21,744
- That's a good one,
- That's a large pour,

929
00:47:21,878 --> 00:47:23,513
A village pour,
I'm gonna take that,,

930
00:47:25,215 --> 00:47:26,716
Cheers,

931
00:47:29,785 --> 00:47:31,021
Let's play a game,

932
00:47:31,955 --> 00:47:33,323
- Okay,
- Okay,

933
00:47:41,431 --> 00:47:43,299
113 Bedford,

934
00:47:44,667 --> 00:47:46,636
Date and builder,

935
00:47:47,370 --> 00:47:48,604
That's too easy,

936
00:47:48,738 --> 00:47:50,173
There's a plaque on the facade

937
00:47:50,306 --> 00:47:52,242
that I see every day on my way to work,

938
00:47:52,375 --> 00:47:54,410
George Harrison, 1842,

939
00:47:54,544 --> 00:47:56,379
- Not the singer,
- Correct,

940
00:47:57,013 --> 00:47:58,949
- Your turn,
- Okay,

941
00:47:59,082 --> 00:48:01,251
Ooh, skinniest house in the West Village,

942
00:48:01,717 --> 00:48:04,220
Oh, come on, Lizzie,
everybody knows that one,

943
00:48:04,854 --> 00:48:06,756
75 and a half Bedford,

944
00:48:06,889 --> 00:48:08,724
nine and a half feet wide,

945
00:48:09,459 --> 00:48:11,327
The Edna St, Vincent
Millay House,

946
00:48:15,698 --> 00:48:16,899
Okay,

947
00:48:19,169 --> 00:48:20,370
How about this one?

948
00:48:22,072 --> 00:48:23,806
59 Morton,

949
00:48:25,908 --> 00:48:27,810
You've actually been
inside this townhouse before,

950
00:48:27,944 --> 00:48:29,579
Although you probably don't remember,

951
00:48:31,047 --> 00:48:33,583
It was a very long time ago,
You were very little,

952
00:48:36,419 --> 00:48:37,687
I'll give you a clue,

953
00:48:39,589 --> 00:48:40,790
Birthday party,

954
00:48:42,425 --> 00:48:43,793
The stairs,

955
00:48:45,561 --> 00:48:47,930
Liz, are you asleep?

956
00:48:50,033 --> 00:48:51,567
Lizzie?

957
00:49:31,074 --> 00:49:32,542
Uh, Tommy Leroy?

958
00:49:32,675 --> 00:49:34,677
What the hell are you doing here?

959
00:49:35,811 --> 00:49:37,247
The power went out last night

960
00:49:37,380 --> 00:49:39,115
and didn't come back on this morning,

961
00:49:39,249 --> 00:49:41,784
I figured I'd drop by and check
on you and your sisters,

962
00:49:41,917 --> 00:49:43,186
Three girls alone in a townhouse

963
00:49:43,319 --> 00:49:45,588
might need a man to help out, eh?

964
00:49:45,721 --> 00:49:47,157
In your dreams,

965
00:49:47,290 --> 00:49:49,292
Get out of here before I call the cops,

966
00:49:49,425 --> 00:49:51,127
With what?

967
00:49:51,261 --> 00:49:52,828
A cell phone that's
losing charge by the second?

968
00:49:54,697 --> 00:49:58,801
Ooh, looks like somebody
started the party without me,

969
00:49:58,934 --> 00:50:00,536
Mind if I poured myself a glass?

970
00:50:18,088 --> 00:50:19,455
That's right,

971
00:50:19,589 --> 00:50:22,392
George Barrow was here last night

972
00:50:22,525 --> 00:50:25,095
to fix the electrical outlet that you said

973
00:50:25,228 --> 00:50:27,663
- you fixed two weeks ago,
- Unbelievable,

974
00:50:27,797 --> 00:50:29,499
George Barrow was here?

975
00:50:29,632 --> 00:50:31,367
I thought you hated him
and everything he stood for,

976
00:50:31,501 --> 00:50:34,070
You've hooked up with
every girl in the West Village,

977
00:50:34,204 --> 00:50:36,339
You can't possibly
expect for me to sit around

978
00:50:36,472 --> 00:50:39,242
and wait for you to show up
and fix what's wrong down there,

979
00:50:40,643 --> 00:50:42,412
In the garden apartment!

980
00:50:42,545 --> 00:50:45,715
You really expect me
to believe that George Barrow

981
00:50:45,848 --> 00:50:47,517
just happened to drop by
on a Saturday night?

982
00:50:47,650 --> 00:50:49,552
Well, yeah, because
that's exactly what happened,

983
00:50:50,453 --> 00:50:52,255
And now that I'm getting
to know George better,

984
00:50:52,388 --> 00:50:55,758
I can see that he's not just
some money grubbing developer,

985
00:50:56,392 --> 00:50:59,795
He's a real gentleman
who's kind and caring

986
00:50:59,929 --> 00:51:03,366
and shares my passion
for cornices and dormer windows,

987
00:51:04,367 --> 00:51:07,103
He's not just some fly by night handyman

988
00:51:07,237 --> 00:51:09,572
who looks really good
in a pair of skinny jeans,

989
00:51:09,705 --> 00:51:11,006
Whoa!

990
00:51:12,041 --> 00:51:15,077
You're so incredibly naive, Liz Perry,

991
00:51:15,211 --> 00:51:16,879
You have no idea who George Barrow is

992
00:51:17,012 --> 00:51:19,515
- or what he's capable of doing,
- So, enlighten me,

993
00:51:19,649 --> 00:51:20,850
I'd be happy to,

994
00:51:25,255 --> 00:51:28,158
George Barrow may be
a West Village blue blood,

995
00:51:28,291 --> 00:51:30,660
but he's not the only one
who grew up in a townhouse,

996
00:51:31,394 --> 00:51:34,964
Wait a minute,
You grew up in a townhouse?

997
00:51:37,967 --> 00:51:39,935
My father was the Barrow
family's property manager

998
00:51:40,069 --> 00:51:41,137
when I was growing up,

999
00:51:43,005 --> 00:51:45,908
The Barrow's lived
in the owner's triplex up top,

1000
00:51:46,942 --> 00:51:48,611
My dad and I lived in the garden apartment

1001
00:51:48,744 --> 00:51:49,912
underneath the stoop,

1002
00:51:51,947 --> 00:51:53,048
Go on,

1003
00:51:54,384 --> 00:51:57,353
When we were little,
George and I were really close,

1004
00:51:59,255 --> 00:52:00,823
Practically like brothers,

1005
00:52:03,426 --> 00:52:05,661
But after old man Barrow
got killed in a crane collapse

1006
00:52:05,795 --> 00:52:08,164
on his way to see
one of my construction sites,

1007
00:52:08,298 --> 00:52:09,765
George blamed me,

1008
00:52:11,066 --> 00:52:13,169
Then, he asked me to move
out of my dad's apartment

1009
00:52:13,303 --> 00:52:15,971
so his contractor
could do some renovations,

1010
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:21,844
I floated on couches
for a year before I realized

1011
00:52:21,977 --> 00:52:23,679
he was never going to
let me move back home,

1012
00:52:23,813 --> 00:52:25,915
That's awful, I had no idea,

1013
00:52:26,816 --> 00:52:28,351
Eventually, I found a sublet in the story

1014
00:52:28,484 --> 00:52:29,719
with a couple of guys from work,

1015
00:52:31,487 --> 00:52:35,124
I had no idea that George Barrow
was such a monster,

1016
00:52:37,260 --> 00:52:39,562
- Did you take him to court?
- Yeah,

1017
00:52:39,695 --> 00:52:41,464
I hired a lawyer and everything,

1018
00:52:41,597 --> 00:52:45,335
By then,
George had already

1019
00:52:45,468 --> 00:52:47,937
finished the renovation and turned it

1020
00:52:48,070 --> 00:52:51,307
into a single-family home
worth triple what it was before,

1021
00:52:53,343 --> 00:52:54,444
Yeah,

1022
00:52:55,411 --> 00:52:58,281
He sent me a check for ten grand

1023
00:52:58,414 --> 00:53:01,417
to settle and I signed the release,

1024
00:53:04,487 --> 00:53:07,723
But what could George Barrow
possibly want with me?

1025
00:53:10,793 --> 00:53:12,528
Don't you get it, Lizzie?

1026
00:53:12,662 --> 00:53:14,864
He's buying up every
decent house in the West Village

1027
00:53:14,997 --> 00:53:16,799
to combine them
and sell them to billionaires

1028
00:53:16,932 --> 00:53:18,668
who want 50-footers,

1029
00:53:18,801 --> 00:53:20,503
Most of your neighbors
have already agreed to sell him

1030
00:53:20,636 --> 00:53:22,538
their properties
once he comes up the money,

1031
00:53:22,672 --> 00:53:24,173
Yeah, sure, that's old news,

1032
00:53:24,307 --> 00:53:26,141
I read it in
<i>Townhouse Confidential,</i>

1033
00:53:27,009 --> 00:53:29,412
Okay, I guess you
haven't read the latest post,

1034
00:53:30,913 --> 00:53:32,615
"Last Townhouse Standing,

1035
00:53:33,249 --> 00:53:36,051
"The Townhouse confidential
grapevine is buzzing with news

1036
00:53:36,185 --> 00:53:38,421
"that mega builder,
George Barrow, has the hots

1037
00:53:38,554 --> 00:53:41,056
"for a shy little townhouse
on Washington Place

1038
00:53:41,190 --> 00:53:42,825
"to add to his portfolio,

1039
00:53:43,859 --> 00:53:45,895
"Barrow is just days away from closing

1040
00:53:46,028 --> 00:53:48,431
"on a $100 million fund to purchase dozens

1041
00:53:48,564 --> 00:53:51,867
"of the biggest and best
townhouses in the West Village,

1042
00:53:52,001 --> 00:53:55,204
"but needs the mid-block beauty
to seal the deal,

1043
00:53:55,338 --> 00:53:58,408
"Odds are three to one
that the sisters will say no,

1044
00:53:58,541 --> 00:54:00,743
"Will gentlemen George up his offer?"

1045
00:54:00,876 --> 00:54:02,612
I assume that's why he came by last night,

1046
00:54:02,745 --> 00:54:04,079
to wine and dine you,

1047
00:54:04,213 --> 00:54:06,282
I cannot believe that Mary wrote that,

1048
00:54:06,416 --> 00:54:08,318
After all, she probably thinks that

1049
00:54:08,451 --> 00:54:10,886
we're so desperate for cash,
we'd take it from anybody,

1050
00:54:11,787 --> 00:54:13,055
Even George Barrow,

1051
00:54:14,189 --> 00:54:16,091
Well, I gotta go, Lizzie,

1052
00:54:18,728 --> 00:54:22,732
Make sure not to share your
cupcakes with just anyone, huh?

1053
00:54:56,399 --> 00:54:57,433
George?

1054
00:54:58,434 --> 00:55:00,169
Come here to steal our house,
I assume?

1055
00:55:00,302 --> 00:55:02,405
I think I forgot my screwdriver,

1056
00:55:02,872 --> 00:55:04,540
Wait there, I'll get it,

1057
00:55:07,309 --> 00:55:10,646
- Here, take it,
- Did I do something wrong?

1058
00:55:10,780 --> 00:55:12,482
Maybe not to me,

1059
00:55:12,615 --> 00:55:14,484
but you should have been
a little nicer to Tommy Leroy

1060
00:55:14,617 --> 00:55:16,486
before you stole his apartment

1061
00:55:16,619 --> 00:55:18,220
and kicked him out of the townhouse

1062
00:55:18,354 --> 00:55:19,789
that you both grew up in,

1063
00:55:19,922 --> 00:55:21,357
I don't know what you're talking about,

1064
00:55:21,491 --> 00:55:23,292
Oh, really?

1065
00:55:23,426 --> 00:55:26,128
So you just get to be the Prince
Charming of the West Village

1066
00:55:26,261 --> 00:55:28,598
while Tommy can barely afford
his sublet in Queens?

1067
00:55:29,064 --> 00:55:30,366
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,

1068
00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:32,101
Is that all he told you?

1069
00:55:32,234 --> 00:55:33,369
He told me that the only reason

1070
00:55:33,503 --> 00:55:35,037
you came over here last night

1071
00:55:35,170 --> 00:55:37,139
was to convince me
to sell you our townhouse,

1072
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,676
So, I guess all that crap about cornices

1073
00:55:40,810 --> 00:55:44,380
and dormer windows was just
a bait you used to reel me in,

1074
00:55:44,514 --> 00:55:46,882
You are no gentleman,
George Barrow,

1075
00:55:47,016 --> 00:55:48,384
and you never will be,

1076
00:55:48,851 --> 00:55:50,252
Now, go,

1077
00:55:50,820 --> 00:55:52,388
Please, Liz,
You don't understand,

1078
00:55:52,522 --> 00:55:54,624
Tommy Leroy isn't who you think he is,

1079
00:55:54,757 --> 00:55:56,158
There's another side to the story,

1080
00:55:56,291 --> 00:55:58,193
There always is, isn't there?

1081
00:55:58,327 --> 00:56:00,396
Anyway, it doesn't matter,

1082
00:56:00,530 --> 00:56:03,866
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line

1083
00:56:03,999 --> 00:56:08,070
and if I don't get my hands
on $100,000 by next week,

1084
00:56:08,203 --> 00:56:10,072
the bank is gonna take our house,

1085
00:56:12,708 --> 00:56:13,909
Thanks for the screwdriver,

1086
00:56:24,954 --> 00:56:28,658
Fuck, could things possibly get any worse?

1087
00:56:48,210 --> 00:56:52,281
Oh, Hi, Got the whole pie,

1088
00:56:52,414 --> 00:56:53,883
Come on, have a slice,

1089
00:56:54,016 --> 00:56:55,217
A little carbs won't hurt you, right?

1090
00:56:55,350 --> 00:56:57,052
Thanks, but no,

1091
00:56:57,186 --> 00:57:00,189
It would derail my preparation
for the half marathon,

1092
00:57:02,157 --> 00:57:03,225
Fuckin' awesome,

1093
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:07,429
George, Say we
get down to business, shall we?

1094
00:57:08,731 --> 00:57:12,234
The bottom line is your lenders
are getting pretty impatient,

1095
00:57:12,367 --> 00:57:13,903
They want to know when, you know,

1096
00:57:14,036 --> 00:57:15,104
the deal's gonna close,

1097
00:57:16,238 --> 00:57:17,940
They want their
fucking money now, big guy,

1098
00:57:18,073 --> 00:57:20,275
<i>- Capisce?</i>
- Yeah,

1099
00:57:20,409 --> 00:57:22,111
There's no reason
to talk like that, Big Sal,

1100
00:57:22,812 --> 00:57:24,279
I'm sure Georgie here

1101
00:57:24,413 --> 00:57:26,248
has a perfectly reasonable explanation

1102
00:57:26,381 --> 00:57:28,584
- for the delay, right?
- Yes,

1103
00:57:29,384 --> 00:57:31,053
There's just one more
townhouse that I need

1104
00:57:31,186 --> 00:57:32,788
to put in the contract

1105
00:57:32,922 --> 00:57:35,558
before the investors
will release the financing,

1106
00:57:35,691 --> 00:57:38,060
The trouble is that
it's owned by three sisters

1107
00:57:38,193 --> 00:57:39,428
who don't want to sell,

1108
00:57:40,095 --> 00:57:42,197
You see, they grew up there,

1109
00:57:42,765 --> 00:57:44,133
You think a horse's head in the bed

1110
00:57:44,266 --> 00:57:45,701
might help them see the light of reason?

1111
00:57:46,669 --> 00:57:48,604
I don't think
that'd be necessary, Big Sal,

1112
00:57:49,271 --> 00:57:52,875
Let's just let George here
talk to 'em, all right?

1113
00:57:53,008 --> 00:57:56,111
Know that Liz Perry?
She loves flowers,

1114
00:57:56,646 --> 00:57:58,247
Especially expensive kind,

1115
00:57:58,380 --> 00:58:00,750
Otherwise, the next horse's head

1116
00:58:00,883 --> 00:58:03,085
is gonna be in your bed, <i>vapisce?</i>

1117
00:58:04,219 --> 00:58:06,155
Come on, Big Sal, everything's
going to be all right,

1118
00:58:06,288 --> 00:58:07,356
Enjoy the pizza,

1119
00:58:24,139 --> 00:58:25,374
Fucking awesome,

1120
00:58:27,910 --> 00:58:29,111
And the weirdest part is,

1121
00:58:29,244 --> 00:58:30,880
I didn't have sex with any of them,

1122
00:58:31,013 --> 00:58:32,214
I mean, I was a little drunk,

1123
00:58:32,347 --> 00:58:34,116
so it was kind of tempting, but no,

1124
00:58:35,317 --> 00:58:37,052
You go, girl,

1125
00:58:37,186 --> 00:58:39,521
Unfortunately, the guy
I'm crushing on just left town,

1126
00:58:40,422 --> 00:58:42,324
He said some kind of business trip,

1127
00:58:42,457 --> 00:58:44,026
Didn't even say when he's coming back,

1128
00:58:44,159 --> 00:58:46,195
Wait a second,
Are you talking about Jonathan?

1129
00:58:46,328 --> 00:58:48,698
I thought he was straight,

1130
00:58:48,831 --> 00:58:50,700
He wasn't so straight
when I was done with him,

1131
00:58:50,833 --> 00:58:54,103
Okay, you go, girl,

1132
00:58:54,236 --> 00:58:55,871
Ooh, let's check this one out,

1133
00:58:56,005 --> 00:58:57,372
Can we go home already?

1134
00:58:57,506 --> 00:58:58,841
One more spiral staircase

1135
00:58:58,974 --> 00:59:00,542
and I'll be on crutches for weeks,

1136
00:59:00,676 --> 00:59:02,878
Come on, Billie,
This is the last one,

1137
00:59:03,012 --> 00:59:04,413
Girl,

1138
00:59:05,715 --> 00:59:07,717
- Hi,
- Hi, Have you got your ticket?

1139
00:59:07,850 --> 00:59:10,720
Thank you so much,
Please put the booties on,

1140
00:59:10,853 --> 00:59:12,221
Sure thing, thank you,

1141
00:59:14,189 --> 00:59:15,257
Whoa,

1142
00:59:17,059 --> 00:59:18,260
Billie, do you see the chandelier?

1143
00:59:19,695 --> 00:59:21,130
It's gorgeous,

1144
00:59:21,263 --> 00:59:23,599
- It smells like money,
- Yeah,

1145
00:59:27,236 --> 00:59:29,538
- Ooh, girl,
- Other room?

1146
00:59:30,906 --> 00:59:33,676
Does it matter?

1147
00:59:39,381 --> 00:59:41,383
Is this how the other half lives?

1148
00:59:45,888 --> 00:59:48,323
You know, this place
feels really familiar,

1149
00:59:48,457 --> 00:59:50,793
Like I've been here before or something,

1150
00:59:51,627 --> 00:59:53,428
In your dreams, Lizzie,

1151
00:59:53,562 --> 00:59:56,498
You have to get past three
deadbolts and an alarm system,

1152
00:59:56,632 --> 00:59:59,301
Plus, they got guns,

1153
01:00:01,436 --> 01:00:03,706
I don't mean now, Billie,

1154
01:00:03,839 --> 01:00:05,274
I meant when I was a little girl,

1155
01:00:06,008 --> 01:00:07,409
I remember my mom dropping me off

1156
01:00:07,542 --> 01:00:09,578
at this big, beautiful townhouse

1157
01:00:09,712 --> 01:00:11,113
for a birthday party when I was five,

1158
01:00:12,181 --> 01:00:14,717
I didn't know any
of the other kids, so I just,,,

1159
01:00:14,850 --> 01:00:17,319
wandered around the house and I got lost,

1160
01:00:17,452 --> 01:00:19,621
I almost fell down a flight
of stairs into the basement

1161
01:00:19,755 --> 01:00:22,858
when this little boy
grabbed my arm and rescued me,

1162
01:00:24,827 --> 01:00:26,829
- Rescued you, huh?
- Mm-hm,

1163
01:00:31,633 --> 01:00:32,935
- Hey, Lizzie,
- Yeah?

1164
01:00:33,068 --> 01:00:35,838
Look at this photo, It's George,

1165
01:00:36,772 --> 01:00:37,907
And Jonathan,

1166
01:00:40,109 --> 01:00:42,611
Lizzie, that little boy that rescued you,,,

1167
01:00:43,746 --> 01:00:46,015
- was George Barrow,
- What?

1168
01:00:46,148 --> 01:00:48,517
Oh, my God,
Billie, you're right,

1169
01:00:50,853 --> 01:00:52,554
This is George Barrow's house,

1170
01:00:53,689 --> 01:00:56,058
But hold on a second,

1171
01:00:56,859 --> 01:01:00,162
How could George be so generous
to a group of complete strangers

1172
01:01:00,295 --> 01:01:02,664
and so cruel to someone
who he grew up with,

1173
01:01:02,798 --> 01:01:04,133
practically like his brother?

1174
01:01:05,100 --> 01:01:06,135
I don't know,

1175
01:01:07,502 --> 01:01:10,205
How could Jonathan be
so hot in the Columbia t-shirt?

1176
01:01:15,244 --> 01:01:17,046
Billie, George just texted me,

1177
01:01:17,179 --> 01:01:19,882
He wants to meet up with me right now,

1178
01:01:20,015 --> 01:01:21,851
- For what?
- I don't know,

1179
01:01:21,984 --> 01:01:24,519
Do we have to go back to work
or can we go check this out?

1180
01:01:24,653 --> 01:01:26,221
You sure you don't wanna
trash his house first?

1181
01:01:26,956 --> 01:01:28,257
No, let's go,

1182
01:01:28,390 --> 01:01:30,425
Let's go, Bye, Jonathan,

1183
01:01:44,473 --> 01:01:45,574
There he is,

1184
01:02:03,425 --> 01:02:04,526
What was that?

1185
01:02:08,330 --> 01:02:10,165
Oh, my God, Billie,

1186
01:02:10,299 --> 01:02:13,002
George wrote me an actual letter by hand

1187
01:02:13,735 --> 01:02:15,504
and he sealed the envelope with wax,

1188
01:02:15,637 --> 01:02:18,073
- Just rip it open and read it,
- Okay, okay,

1189
01:02:23,245 --> 01:02:26,748
"Dearest Elizabeth, I know that
you will never sell me your home

1190
01:02:26,882 --> 01:02:28,984
"after what you believe
I have done to Tommy Leroy,

1191
01:02:29,118 --> 01:02:31,120
"so I won't attempt to make an offer,

1192
01:02:32,087 --> 01:02:33,789
"All I ask is that you read this letter

1193
01:02:33,923 --> 01:02:35,791
"explaining what really happened

1194
01:02:35,925 --> 01:02:38,127
"and give me a chance
to clear my good name,"

1195
01:02:38,260 --> 01:02:39,728
Oh, my God, This can't be real,

1196
01:02:40,729 --> 01:02:42,932
"Then five years ago,
I went away on a trip to Africa

1197
01:02:43,065 --> 01:02:46,135
"with my friend, Jonathan,
to dig wells to fight malaria,

1198
01:02:46,268 --> 01:02:47,803
"When I got back,
I discovered that Tommy

1199
01:02:47,937 --> 01:02:51,406
"had forged my signature
on a building permit

1200
01:02:51,540 --> 01:02:53,308
"and was getting ready to turn the home

1201
01:02:53,442 --> 01:02:55,644
"in our family for almost 200 years--"

1202
01:02:55,777 --> 01:02:58,247
<i>"Into multi-million dollar condos</i>

1203
01:02:58,380 --> 01:03:00,249
<i>"and pocket the money for himself,</i>

1204
01:03:01,083 --> 01:03:03,953
<i>"I was shocked and angered
by Tommy's betrayal,</i>

1205
01:03:04,086 --> 01:03:07,422
<i>"but I promised my mother that
I would keep the matter private</i>

1206
01:03:07,556 --> 01:03:10,659
<i>"so as not to tarnish
the reputation of our family</i>

1207
01:03:10,792 --> 01:03:12,895
<i>"and that of
the real estate business we own,</i>

1208
01:03:14,629 --> 01:03:16,966
<i>"I have always loved you,
Elizabeth Perry,"</i>

1209
01:03:17,099 --> 01:03:18,733
- Elizabeth Perry,
<i>- "Ever since the day</i>

1210
01:03:18,868 --> 01:03:20,235
<i>"at my birthday party when I saved you</i>

1211
01:03:20,369 --> 01:03:21,603
<i>"from falling down the stairs,</i>

1212
01:03:22,571 --> 01:03:24,473
<i>"You are the damsel in distress</i>

1213
01:03:24,606 --> 01:03:26,175
<i>"that I have always wanted to rescue,</i>

1214
01:03:27,109 --> 01:03:30,212
<i>"But now I feel that the person
who really needs rescuing is me,</i>

1215
01:03:31,413 --> 01:03:33,849
<i>"Without you, I am lost,,,</i>

1216
01:03:35,017 --> 01:03:36,886
<i>"with no hope of the feelings that I have</i>

1217
01:03:37,019 --> 01:03:39,654
<i>"for you and your townhouse
ever being reciprocated,</i>

1218
01:03:39,788 --> 01:03:41,823
<i>"I remain your faithful servant,</i>

1219
01:03:41,957 --> 01:03:43,792
<i>"G, Fitzwilliam Barrow,"</i>

1220
01:03:48,263 --> 01:03:49,932
I think you're about to get laid, girl,

1221
01:03:53,302 --> 01:03:55,804
I am such an idiot,

1222
01:03:55,938 --> 01:03:58,207
All I had to do
was stick out my foot for him

1223
01:03:58,340 --> 01:04:00,475
to put a glass slipper on, and instead,

1224
01:04:00,609 --> 01:04:02,878
I kick him out the door because I believe

1225
01:04:03,012 --> 01:04:05,580
that scam artist, Tommy Leroy,

1226
01:04:05,714 --> 01:04:07,416
I mean, I guess it's not too late to call

1227
01:04:07,549 --> 01:04:10,152
sleazy Sal Carmine
and take him up on his offer,

1228
01:04:10,285 --> 01:04:15,224
Lizzie, that's no way
to talk about my boyfriend,

1229
01:04:15,357 --> 01:04:19,361
Your boyfriend?
What are you talking about?

1230
01:04:19,494 --> 01:04:21,563
Well, remember the night of the blackout

1231
01:04:21,696 --> 01:04:23,498
when you had a Sal over
for wine and cupcakes

1232
01:04:23,632 --> 01:04:25,267
to talk about
the new mortgage on the house?

1233
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:27,069
Yeah, How could I forget?

1234
01:04:27,202 --> 01:04:29,905
Well, after the power
went out on Lower Manhattan

1235
01:04:30,039 --> 01:04:32,007
and you kicked Sal out the door,

1236
01:04:32,141 --> 01:04:34,843
he went screaming down Washington Place,

1237
01:04:34,977 --> 01:04:36,946
I heard the noise, ran downstairs,

1238
01:04:37,079 --> 01:04:40,549
flung open the door,
and well, let's just say

1239
01:04:40,682 --> 01:04:43,318
he was grateful to find
a friendly port in the storm,

1240
01:04:43,452 --> 01:04:45,254
Oh, my God,

1241
01:04:45,387 --> 01:04:48,190
But Sal is married and he's bald

1242
01:04:48,323 --> 01:04:49,724
and he's short and you could just--

1243
01:04:49,858 --> 01:04:51,326
We're not all like you, Lizzie,

1244
01:04:52,127 --> 01:04:54,229
Not everyone is looking for a Mr, Darcy

1245
01:04:54,363 --> 01:04:56,966
with the uncertain
domestic bliss of marriage

1246
01:04:57,099 --> 01:04:59,334
and kids and happily ever after,

1247
01:05:00,602 --> 01:05:05,540
For me, a married Mr, Collins
will do just fine,

1248
01:05:07,076 --> 01:05:08,143
Maybe you're right,

1249
01:05:08,910 --> 01:05:11,713
Maybe life isn't about
getting what you want,

1250
01:05:11,846 --> 01:05:14,416
it's about wanting what you get,

1251
01:05:32,067 --> 01:05:33,902
Well, I guess that's it, then,

1252
01:05:34,536 --> 01:05:36,605
Jersey City, here I come,

1253
01:05:39,574 --> 01:05:41,776
I guess I could
get a job at a different bakery,

1254
01:05:41,910 --> 01:05:43,912
even if that bakery isn't Magnolia,

1255
01:05:45,247 --> 01:05:46,715
- Uh-huh,
- And I suppose

1256
01:05:46,848 --> 01:05:48,117
I could find an apartment to rent,

1257
01:05:48,250 --> 01:05:50,619
maybe share it with a roommate,

1258
01:05:50,752 --> 01:05:54,556
Yeah, then you'll understand
how the other 99% lives,

1259
01:05:55,190 --> 01:05:56,891
I'm about to lose my house, Billie,

1260
01:05:57,026 --> 01:05:58,627
I thought you could at least sympathize,

1261
01:05:59,394 --> 01:06:00,529
- Sympathize?
- Yeah,

1262
01:06:01,296 --> 01:06:03,165
Do you know how many apartments
I've been kicked out of

1263
01:06:03,298 --> 01:06:04,633
since I moved to New York?

1264
01:06:04,766 --> 01:06:06,335
You think you got it tough, baby girl?

1265
01:06:06,935 --> 01:06:09,771
Try being Black, gay,
and living in the Bronx,

1266
01:06:10,405 --> 01:06:12,841
I'm so done with you and your
white townhouse privilege,

1267
01:06:13,842 --> 01:06:15,644
Do you know how many millions of people

1268
01:06:15,777 --> 01:06:17,812
who would gladly trade places
with you in the heartbeat?

1269
01:06:17,946 --> 01:06:20,582
But I am the victim here,

1270
01:06:21,283 --> 01:06:22,784
- Are you though?
- Yeah,

1271
01:06:22,917 --> 01:06:25,020
Look how many advantages
you take for granted,

1272
01:06:26,388 --> 01:06:28,257
Two parents that adored you,

1273
01:06:28,390 --> 01:06:30,459
college degree that you did not pay for,

1274
01:06:30,592 --> 01:06:32,994
and that $20 bottle of Italian wine

1275
01:06:33,128 --> 01:06:35,030
that you drink so effortlessly,

1276
01:06:35,164 --> 01:06:38,467
I only buy Montefalco Rosso
when it's on sale,

1277
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:39,668
Mm-hmm,

1278
01:06:41,270 --> 01:06:42,471
But maybe you're right, Billie,

1279
01:06:43,272 --> 01:06:45,207
I guess I never
looked at it that way before,

1280
01:06:45,340 --> 01:06:47,042
Of course you haven't

1281
01:06:47,176 --> 01:06:48,510
because you're too busy
looking in the mirror,

1282
01:06:48,643 --> 01:06:50,145
feeling sorry for yourself,

1283
01:06:50,279 --> 01:06:51,680
Just because you sweep your fireplace

1284
01:06:51,813 --> 01:06:53,282
every once in a while

1285
01:06:53,415 --> 01:06:54,649
does not make you Cinderella, baby girl,

1286
01:06:56,785 --> 01:06:57,852
Where I'm from,,,

1287
01:06:58,787 --> 01:07:01,156
I'd be lucky to be able to walk
down the street in my dress

1288
01:07:01,290 --> 01:07:03,225
and my wig and not get
rocks thrown at my head,

1289
01:07:11,032 --> 01:07:14,069
So, maybe I am no better
than George Barrow

1290
01:07:14,203 --> 01:07:15,904
or Kathryn Waverly or the other

1291
01:07:16,037 --> 01:07:18,039
millionaire hedge funders
who live in the West Village,

1292
01:07:18,973 --> 01:07:21,510
Maybe I do deserve
to be exiled to a beach bar

1293
01:07:21,643 --> 01:07:23,878
in New Jersey where no one
has ever heard of a cornice

1294
01:07:24,012 --> 01:07:26,215
or a lintel or a dormer window,

1295
01:07:26,348 --> 01:07:29,651
Hey, now, don't be going all
Jersey Shore on me, baby girl,

1296
01:07:30,452 --> 01:07:33,122
I'm just saying, if you want
to save your townhome

1297
01:07:33,255 --> 01:07:34,889
5or at least get some serious cash for it,

1298
01:07:35,023 --> 01:07:37,226
you got to get out there
and you got to fight for it,

1299
01:07:37,359 --> 01:07:38,860
Don't be sitting around

1300
01:07:38,993 --> 01:07:40,295
waiting on Prince Charming to pay the tab,

1301
01:07:40,429 --> 01:07:42,697
- You mean--
- Yes, Lizzie,

1302
01:07:43,565 --> 01:07:45,567
There's something you love
more than vanilla cupcakes

1303
01:07:45,700 --> 01:07:47,369
with purple frosting and sprinkles on top,

1304
01:07:48,403 --> 01:07:50,105
Something you love more than a hot guy

1305
01:07:50,239 --> 01:07:51,873
with a tight ass and skinny jeans,

1306
01:07:52,006 --> 01:07:54,276
Oh, I don't know if that's possible,

1307
01:07:56,745 --> 01:07:59,414
Oh, my God,
Billie, you're right,

1308
01:07:59,548 --> 01:08:00,815
It's my townhouse,

1309
01:08:01,516 --> 01:08:04,586
That 18-foot wide, broken down
fixer-upper of a townhouse

1310
01:08:04,719 --> 01:08:06,655
that I grew up in on Washington Place,

1311
01:08:07,356 --> 01:08:09,124
The place where literally nothing works

1312
01:08:09,258 --> 01:08:10,892
and everything's held together
with scotch tape

1313
01:08:11,025 --> 01:08:12,294
and rubber bands,

1314
01:08:12,427 --> 01:08:13,795
The place that's always just

1315
01:08:13,928 --> 01:08:15,830
on the verge of a nervous breakdown,

1316
01:08:16,665 --> 01:08:19,134
That scorching hot mess pile of bricks,,,

1317
01:08:20,535 --> 01:08:21,603
is me,

1318
01:08:27,742 --> 01:08:29,578
- Detective Ortiz,
- Detective Ortiz,

1319
01:08:29,711 --> 01:08:31,780
Can I offer you a cupcake?
It's on the house,

1320
01:08:31,913 --> 01:08:33,782
And those cupcakes do look tasty,

1321
01:08:33,915 --> 01:08:36,818
but this time I think I'll pass,

1322
01:08:36,951 --> 01:08:38,853
I came in to check your security tape,

1323
01:08:38,987 --> 01:08:40,522
Uh, it looks like the Gucci Bandit

1324
01:08:40,655 --> 01:08:42,291
is back out on the loose,

1325
01:08:42,424 --> 01:08:44,092
The Gucci Bandit?

1326
01:08:44,226 --> 01:08:45,827
Yeah, he's a burglar
who breaks into people's homes

1327
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:48,497
wearing Gucci sandals,
steals their credit cards,

1328
01:08:48,630 --> 01:08:50,432
and goes on a shopping spree,

1329
01:08:50,965 --> 01:08:53,368
Okay, but what does that
have to do with us?

1330
01:08:53,502 --> 01:08:55,370
Well, it looks like he's taking a show

1331
01:08:55,504 --> 01:08:56,971
on the road to Bleaker Street,

1332
01:08:57,105 --> 01:08:58,773
According to the credit card company,

1333
01:08:58,907 --> 01:09:01,310
he was in here sometime
yesterday before 3:00 P,M,

1334
01:09:01,443 --> 01:09:03,378
We were off yesterday, but sure, why not?

1335
01:09:03,512 --> 01:09:05,447
If he was in here,
he'd be on tape somewhere,

1336
01:09:06,981 --> 01:09:08,283
Sure you don't want a cupcake?

1337
01:09:08,417 --> 01:09:09,984
You are a temptress, Liz Perry,

1338
01:09:10,118 --> 01:09:11,686
Liz, can you help me here?

1339
01:09:11,820 --> 01:09:13,522
I don't think I was here
for this training session,

1340
01:09:13,655 --> 01:09:15,123
Yeah, sure, um,

1341
01:09:15,257 --> 01:09:17,025
It should just be--

1342
01:09:24,333 --> 01:09:28,002
Busted on Bleaker, We got him,

1343
01:09:28,136 --> 01:09:29,271
Good work, Liz,

1344
01:09:29,404 --> 01:09:31,206
Just email me the clip,

1345
01:09:31,340 --> 01:09:32,807
Wait, there's somebody else on tape

1346
01:09:32,941 --> 01:09:34,276
walking to the store,

1347
01:09:34,409 --> 01:09:35,810
Oh my God,

1348
01:09:35,944 --> 01:09:37,379
I'd recognize that butt anywhere,

1349
01:09:37,879 --> 01:09:39,381
It's Tommy Leroy,

1350
01:09:39,948 --> 01:09:42,384
He's writing a check for some cupcakes

1351
01:09:42,517 --> 01:09:45,053
using the checkbook
for our home equity credit line,

1352
01:09:45,186 --> 01:09:46,655
Detective Ortiz,

1353
01:09:46,788 --> 01:09:48,423
I'd like to make a citizen's arrest,

1354
01:09:48,557 --> 01:09:51,092
Come down to the station
and file a report, okay?

1355
01:09:51,226 --> 01:09:52,827
Never trust a man a skinny jeans,

1356
01:09:52,961 --> 01:09:54,663
Yeah,

1357
01:09:54,796 --> 01:09:56,998
We caught Tommy Leroy on
video camera with our checkbook,

1358
01:09:57,131 --> 01:09:59,401
but that doesn't bring back the $100,000,

1359
01:09:59,534 --> 01:10:02,571
And we need to pay back
the entire loan by Monday,

1360
01:10:04,005 --> 01:10:05,940
Our only choice is to sell the house

1361
01:10:06,074 --> 01:10:07,709
to the first person who walks in that door

1362
01:10:07,842 --> 01:10:09,478
with the biggest bag full of cash,

1363
01:10:09,611 --> 01:10:11,246
Which means that we need to start painting

1364
01:10:11,380 --> 01:10:13,582
and cleaning ASAP to get it
ready for the open house,

1365
01:10:13,715 --> 01:10:16,017
If we all pick up a brush
in the mop right now,

1366
01:10:16,150 --> 01:10:17,986
we should be done by Saturday,

1367
01:10:18,553 --> 01:10:20,922
And once I take the pictures,
make the video,

1368
01:10:21,055 --> 01:10:22,824
and post the ad on Street Easy,

1369
01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:24,893
we'll be ready for the open
house on Sunday afternoon,

1370
01:10:25,026 --> 01:10:27,662
And that's where I come in,
to find the mystery buyer

1371
01:10:27,796 --> 01:10:30,332
with a big bank roll in his briefcase,

1372
01:10:30,465 --> 01:10:32,100
We know you'll find a someone, Sophie,

1373
01:10:32,233 --> 01:10:34,068
I texted Charlotte,

1374
01:10:34,202 --> 01:10:36,037
She should be here any minute
with the cleaning supplies,

1375
01:10:40,575 --> 01:10:42,777
Let's clean my little dust bunnies,

1376
01:10:42,911 --> 01:10:44,279
Let's,

1377
01:10:49,884 --> 01:10:54,389
<i>♪ Yeah, it's come to this,
world's falling all around us ♪</i>

1378
01:10:54,523 --> 01:10:57,559
<i>♪ Will we make it out alive? ♪</i>

1379
01:10:59,060 --> 01:11:01,062
<i>♪ Now that we've come this far ♪</i>

1380
01:11:01,195 --> 01:11:03,632
<i>♪ Come on, sisters, get together ♪</i>

1381
01:11:03,765 --> 01:11:07,135
<i>♪ And bring the city to its knees ♪</i>

1382
01:11:07,268 --> 01:11:09,170
<i>♪ We gotta get up ♪</i>

1383
01:11:09,304 --> 01:11:12,073
<i>♪ Working harder than
we've ever worked before ♪</i>

1384
01:11:12,206 --> 01:11:14,042
<i>♪ Gotta speak up ♪</i>

1385
01:11:14,175 --> 01:11:16,378
<i>♪ Be a fighter when something's
worth fighting for ♪</i>

1386
01:11:16,511 --> 01:11:18,480
<i>♪ Never give up ♪</i>

1387
01:11:18,613 --> 01:11:21,916
<i>♪ Keep on trying,
give it everything we've got ♪</i>

1388
01:11:22,050 --> 01:11:26,054
<i>♪ Better believe we'll
find out what we're made of ♪</i>

1389
01:11:26,187 --> 01:11:28,757
<i>♪ Keep your head up, just keep smiling ♪</i>

1390
01:11:41,736 --> 01:11:45,006
So, you'll never guess
who I ran into today,

1391
01:11:46,107 --> 01:11:47,609
Well, I guess
you're going to tell me, mother,

1392
01:11:47,742 --> 01:11:49,143
and I have no choice but to listen,

1393
01:11:49,277 --> 01:11:51,145
Elizabeth Perry,

1394
01:11:51,279 --> 01:11:53,648
The girl who lives in that
trashy, little townhouse

1395
01:11:53,782 --> 01:11:55,950
over on Washington Place
with her two sisters,

1396
01:11:56,084 --> 01:11:59,788
Oh, and what did she have to say, mother?

1397
01:11:59,921 --> 01:12:02,524
Well, she told me she's
putting her house on the market

1398
01:12:02,657 --> 01:12:05,527
and that she and her two sisters
are hosting an open house

1399
01:12:05,660 --> 01:12:08,463
tomorrow afternoon and that
they're prepared to sell

1400
01:12:08,597 --> 01:12:12,333
to the highest bidder,
even if that bidder is you,

1401
01:12:13,167 --> 01:12:14,969
- Really?
- So it's true

1402
01:12:15,103 --> 01:12:16,471
that you've offered to buy their house?

1403
01:12:16,605 --> 01:12:19,107
Or is that just inter-webs gossip?

1404
01:12:19,240 --> 01:12:21,843
Well, I very much doubt that she'd be

1405
01:12:21,976 --> 01:12:23,678
willing to sell to me, mother,

1406
01:12:23,812 --> 01:12:25,279
She thinks I'm an asshole

1407
01:12:25,414 --> 01:12:27,215
who wouldn't help his own grandmother

1408
01:12:27,348 --> 01:12:28,950
cross Bleaker Street,

1409
01:12:29,083 --> 01:12:31,553
Of course she would, sweetheart,

1410
01:12:31,686 --> 01:12:35,056
You're still the Prince Charming
of West Village real estate,

1411
01:12:35,189 --> 01:12:38,493
Any girl would pay gold just
to meet you for a cup of coffee

1412
01:12:38,627 --> 01:12:42,196
or Tesla stock, Bitcoin,
or whatever's hot these days,

1413
01:12:42,330 --> 01:12:45,233
Oh, mother, I am tired
of living here with you

1414
01:12:45,366 --> 01:12:48,169
in the shadow of my great
great grandfather's portrait,

1415
01:12:49,971 --> 01:12:52,173
All I want is to be like-- like--

1416
01:12:52,306 --> 01:12:54,576
like everybody else

1417
01:12:54,709 --> 01:12:56,778
who comes to the West Village to have fun,

1418
01:13:15,196 --> 01:13:17,899
- Fucking awesome,
- George Barrow!

1419
01:13:18,032 --> 01:13:21,069
We do not use language
like that in this household,

1420
01:13:21,202 --> 01:13:24,172
And we most certainly do not eat pizza,

1421
01:13:24,305 --> 01:13:28,443
Why don't we? John's Pizzeria is
two blocks away from our house,

1422
01:13:28,577 --> 01:13:30,211
They have the best pizza
in the West Village,

1423
01:13:30,344 --> 01:13:32,747
You always told me
that we couldn't go there

1424
01:13:32,881 --> 01:13:34,749
because they have rats in their basement,

1425
01:13:35,517 --> 01:13:37,552
I honestly don't care if they
have rats in their basement,

1426
01:13:37,686 --> 01:13:39,353
Their pizza is awesome,

1427
01:13:39,488 --> 01:13:43,124
But, George, you'll get fat!

1428
01:13:43,257 --> 01:13:45,560
Cool, Then maybe all these girls

1429
01:13:45,694 --> 01:13:48,930
who think I'm Mr, Darcy
will stop chasing me,

1430
01:13:50,565 --> 01:13:55,003
Tomorrow, I think I'm gonna go
try one of the slices at Joe's,

1431
01:13:57,405 --> 01:13:59,841
Oh, it's a mighty fine slice, mother,

1432
01:14:00,675 --> 01:14:03,077
Mighty fine slice, mother,

1433
01:14:18,893 --> 01:14:20,128
Hi,

1434
01:14:21,429 --> 01:14:22,564
Hi,

1435
01:14:22,697 --> 01:14:24,733
- Hi,
- Hello,

1436
01:14:35,276 --> 01:14:36,410
Wow,

1437
01:14:40,882 --> 01:14:42,116
It's gorgeous,

1438
01:14:42,250 --> 01:14:43,484
Nah, it's too bright,

1439
01:14:44,452 --> 01:14:45,587
Okay,

1440
01:14:46,755 --> 01:14:48,790
- Thank you,
- Thank you for coming,

1441
01:14:55,597 --> 01:14:58,232
Well, at least we tried,

1442
01:14:58,366 --> 01:15:00,134
I'm sure we can find
a decent place to rent

1443
01:15:00,268 --> 01:15:02,203
in New Jersey when they take the house,

1444
01:15:02,336 --> 01:15:04,739
Or Florida, I heard
it's pretty cheap down there,

1445
01:15:05,373 --> 01:15:07,909
- Where's Sophie anyway?
- Does it matter?

1446
01:15:08,042 --> 01:15:09,544
It's not like she's getting a commission,

1447
01:15:13,982 --> 01:15:17,185
Girls, I just took a full price offer,

1448
01:15:17,318 --> 01:15:19,320
All cash!

1449
01:15:19,453 --> 01:15:22,023
And I spoke with the bank
and they have agreed

1450
01:15:22,156 --> 01:15:24,125
to put the foreclosure on hold,

1451
01:15:25,860 --> 01:15:28,296
We did it, we did it, we did it!

1452
01:15:29,964 --> 01:15:32,033
Hold on, What's the catch?
There has to be one,

1453
01:15:32,166 --> 01:15:35,637
Well, the buyer wants
to meet with Liz right here,

1454
01:15:35,770 --> 01:15:39,240
right now, alone,
with no one else in the room,

1455
01:15:40,108 --> 01:15:42,744
Good luck,

1456
01:15:48,850 --> 01:15:51,285
- May I come in?
- Of course,

1457
01:15:56,490 --> 01:15:57,558
Thanks, Sophie,

1458
01:16:03,865 --> 01:16:05,634
Please let me explain,
Elizabeth,

1459
01:16:05,767 --> 01:16:07,736
And this time,
I beg you not kick me out

1460
01:16:07,869 --> 01:16:09,604
until you've heard the entire story,

1461
01:16:12,273 --> 01:16:13,775
The only reason
I've offered to buy your home

1462
01:16:13,908 --> 01:16:15,644
is to save it from foreclosure,

1463
01:16:15,777 --> 01:16:18,279
so that you and your sisters
can continue to live here,

1464
01:16:18,412 --> 01:16:21,049
I will not combine it
with any other property

1465
01:16:21,182 --> 01:16:22,884
or make it part
of the development that you have

1466
01:16:23,017 --> 01:16:25,286
so rightly called
a hedge funder Disneyland,

1467
01:16:26,855 --> 01:16:29,557
I promise that after the deal closes,

1468
01:16:29,691 --> 01:16:32,694
I will walk away and never again
darken your door,

1469
01:16:32,827 --> 01:16:34,629
- But--
- Please don't refuse my offer,

1470
01:16:34,763 --> 01:16:36,698
It's honestly the least I can do,

1471
01:16:36,831 --> 01:16:39,367
If I had reported
Tommy Leroy to the police

1472
01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:41,736
after he tried to steal my family's home,

1473
01:16:41,870 --> 01:16:44,105
he would not have been free to walk in,

1474
01:16:44,238 --> 01:16:46,374
steal your home equity
credit line checkbook,

1475
01:16:46,507 --> 01:16:48,777
and draw down the $100,000 dollars

1476
01:16:48,910 --> 01:16:51,379
that nearly cost
you and your family your home,

1477
01:16:51,512 --> 01:16:53,648
Or to bounce a check
in the Magnolia Bakery

1478
01:16:53,782 --> 01:16:56,350
to buy a dozen cupcakes
for his ex-girlfriend

1479
01:16:56,484 --> 01:16:57,819
in the apartment upstairs,

1480
01:16:57,952 --> 01:17:01,522
But I guess you already knew that

1481
01:17:01,656 --> 01:17:03,591
since you're the one
who busted him on tape,

1482
01:17:04,993 --> 01:17:06,928
Detective Ortiz told me the whole story,

1483
01:17:08,629 --> 01:17:10,298
You're my hero, Liz Perry,

1484
01:17:11,332 --> 01:17:13,634
Well, let's just say
I'm a woman of many talents,

1485
01:17:15,403 --> 01:17:17,806
So, do you still think

1486
01:17:17,939 --> 01:17:19,708
I'm the biggest asshole
in the West Village?

1487
01:17:21,142 --> 01:17:24,612
No, George,
I think you're amazing,

1488
01:17:25,379 --> 01:17:27,849
And so was your big, beautiful townhouse

1489
01:17:27,982 --> 01:17:29,483
at 59 Morton Street,

1490
01:17:29,617 --> 01:17:31,352
The place where you saved me

1491
01:17:31,485 --> 01:17:33,187
from falling down the stairs
at your birthday party

1492
01:17:33,321 --> 01:17:34,823
when I was five,

1493
01:17:34,956 --> 01:17:36,524
I'm amazed that you remember,

1494
01:17:36,657 --> 01:17:38,793
You were so little,

1495
01:17:38,927 --> 01:17:40,628
But I'm two years older
and I never forgot,

1496
01:17:42,463 --> 01:17:44,465
I've always had a crush on you, Liz Perry,

1497
01:17:45,599 --> 01:17:47,802
It was just easier for me
to act like a jerk

1498
01:17:47,936 --> 01:17:50,138
than to admit it and maybe find out

1499
01:17:50,271 --> 01:17:51,806
that you didn't love me

1500
01:17:51,940 --> 01:17:54,776
as much as I've always loved you,

1501
01:18:01,850 --> 01:18:03,151
Hold on, Liz Perry,

1502
01:18:03,284 --> 01:18:05,920
Before we get too carried away,

1503
01:18:06,487 --> 01:18:07,756
there's something
I have to show you

1504
01:18:07,889 --> 01:18:09,323
about your charming, little townhouse

1505
01:18:09,457 --> 01:18:11,659
that you may not have noticed,

1506
01:18:21,736 --> 01:18:23,738
- Here, just in case,
- Ah, Perfect,

1507
01:18:25,173 --> 01:18:26,240
Follow me,

1508
01:18:27,475 --> 01:18:29,710
Uh, George,

1509
01:18:29,844 --> 01:18:31,312
what are we doing in my basement?

1510
01:18:32,013 --> 01:18:33,381
Trust me,

1511
01:18:37,786 --> 01:18:39,353
It must be around here somewhere,

1512
01:18:40,855 --> 01:18:41,923
What?

1513
01:18:43,992 --> 01:18:45,059
A-ha,

1514
01:18:47,061 --> 01:18:49,663
Lizzie, could you hold this?

1515
01:18:49,798 --> 01:18:51,232
Sure,

1516
01:19:01,742 --> 01:19:03,577
Uh, hey, George, quick question,

1517
01:19:03,711 --> 01:19:07,081
Why do you have a key
to a lock in my basement?

1518
01:19:07,215 --> 01:19:08,616
Wait and see,

1519
01:19:22,463 --> 01:19:23,965
Uh, George?

1520
01:19:24,098 --> 01:19:25,967
When are you going to
tell me what's going on?

1521
01:19:26,100 --> 01:19:28,402
Sometimes, Liz, there are connections

1522
01:19:28,536 --> 01:19:31,873
you didn't know existed
that were there all along,

1523
01:19:33,074 --> 01:19:34,575
What does that mean?

1524
01:19:43,451 --> 01:19:46,054
Oh, my God, George,
We're in your parlor,

1525
01:19:55,029 --> 01:19:56,730
There's the portrait of Captain Barrow,

1526
01:19:57,298 --> 01:19:59,067
Ah, and the guns,

1527
01:20:01,435 --> 01:20:04,272
But hold on a second,
How did we get here?

1528
01:20:04,405 --> 01:20:05,439
Allow me to explain,

1529
01:20:06,140 --> 01:20:08,309
The same day that you came to see my house

1530
01:20:08,442 --> 01:20:10,011
for the Spring House benefit tour,

1531
01:20:10,144 --> 01:20:11,545
I went to the library to check out

1532
01:20:11,679 --> 01:20:13,481
the old fire insurance maps,

1533
01:20:13,614 --> 01:20:17,518
It turns out our two houses
are connected underground,

1534
01:20:17,651 --> 01:20:18,652
- What?
- They've been that way

1535
01:20:18,786 --> 01:20:19,787
for over a century,

1536
01:20:19,921 --> 01:20:21,689
So wait, You mean--

1537
01:20:21,822 --> 01:20:23,557
Yes, that my mother can no longer

1538
01:20:23,691 --> 01:20:27,228
object to us uniting our
two houses and tying the knot,

1539
01:20:31,265 --> 01:20:32,766
But, wait, doesn't your mother hate me

1540
01:20:32,901 --> 01:20:34,702
and my 18-foot wide townhouse?

1541
01:20:34,835 --> 01:20:36,537
When I showed her on the map
that Captain Barrow

1542
01:20:36,670 --> 01:20:38,439
had built a tunnel,
so that he could hook up

1543
01:20:38,572 --> 01:20:40,942
with his third cousin
and true love, Betsy Washington,

1544
01:20:41,075 --> 01:20:42,376
she caved immediately,

1545
01:20:42,510 --> 01:20:44,312
But isn't your mother

1546
01:20:44,445 --> 01:20:47,481
all business, super broker
Kathryn Waverly and all that?

1547
01:20:47,615 --> 01:20:50,351
Oh, no, Kathryn Waverly
is a hopeless romantic

1548
01:20:50,484 --> 01:20:53,321
just like you, Lizzie,
A huge <i>Pride and Prejudice</i> fan,

1549
01:20:53,454 --> 01:20:54,956
That's why she named me Fitzwilliam,

1550
01:20:56,157 --> 01:20:58,326
But-- but you can,,,

1551
01:21:00,161 --> 01:21:01,395
just call me George,

1552
01:21:03,965 --> 01:21:06,434
This is no time for big
romantic speeches, George,

1553
01:21:06,567 --> 01:21:08,602
We've got to get out of here now,

1554
01:21:08,736 --> 01:21:10,338
What are you talking about, mother?

1555
01:21:10,471 --> 01:21:12,573
I'm in the middle
of proposing to Liz Perry,

1556
01:21:12,706 --> 01:21:14,375
Aren't you glad that I'm
actually interested in girls?

1557
01:21:14,508 --> 01:21:16,577
Oh, don't worry about that, George,

1558
01:21:16,710 --> 01:21:18,246
I already knew that you and Elizabeth

1559
01:21:18,379 --> 01:21:19,914
would end up together,

1560
01:21:20,048 --> 01:21:21,382
Don't forget,
I've read the book five times

1561
01:21:21,515 --> 01:21:23,451
and seen the entire BBC series,

1562
01:21:23,584 --> 01:21:25,053
- Here,
- That's bullshit,

1563
01:21:25,186 --> 01:21:26,720
I'm gonna fuck 'em up real bad,

1564
01:21:26,854 --> 01:21:28,589
- They're here,
- Who's here, mother?

1565
01:21:28,722 --> 01:21:31,025
No time to explain,
Just follow me,

1566
01:21:31,159 --> 01:21:32,226
Okay,

1567
01:21:39,800 --> 01:21:41,835
George! George!

1568
01:21:41,970 --> 01:21:43,904
Where are you?
I know you're here,

1569
01:21:44,038 --> 01:21:46,274
Where the fuck is he?

1570
01:21:47,008 --> 01:21:48,509
Tommy, you said you were gonna bring us

1571
01:21:48,642 --> 01:21:49,710
right to him, what happened?

1572
01:21:52,246 --> 01:21:53,847
The big boss is gonna be mad,

1573
01:21:53,982 --> 01:21:55,449
I grew up in this house,

1574
01:21:55,583 --> 01:21:57,385
I know what they went,
Follow me,

1575
01:22:15,469 --> 01:22:17,371
George, what is this place?

1576
01:22:17,938 --> 01:22:20,508
This is where my family
hid enslaved Africans

1577
01:22:20,641 --> 01:22:22,977
before the Civil War
to help them escape to freedom,

1578
01:22:23,477 --> 01:22:26,080
No way, I thought you guys
were white supremacists,

1579
01:22:26,214 --> 01:22:28,316
This is no time
for a history lesson, George,

1580
01:22:28,449 --> 01:22:31,252
Tommy's probably leading them
us right to us as we speak,

1581
01:22:31,385 --> 01:22:33,287
We need to secure the hatch,
Elizabeth, you,

1582
01:22:33,421 --> 01:22:34,488
Okay?

1583
01:22:36,357 --> 01:22:37,958
Ah!

1584
01:22:40,528 --> 01:22:42,496
Oh, hey, Georgie boy,

1585
01:22:42,630 --> 01:22:45,266
I got a couple of guys here
who want to talk to you,

1586
01:22:47,201 --> 01:22:48,969
Where's my fucking money, Georgie?

1587
01:22:49,103 --> 01:22:50,171
Who is that?

1588
01:22:51,705 --> 01:22:53,007
Sal Carmine?

1589
01:22:53,141 --> 01:22:54,908
What the hell are you doing here?

1590
01:22:55,043 --> 01:22:56,810
I'm not here for you, Lizzie,
Sorry,

1591
01:22:56,944 --> 01:22:59,680
I'm here for Georgie,
Time's up, buddy,

1592
01:22:59,813 --> 01:23:01,815
Just give him the money, George,

1593
01:23:01,949 --> 01:23:04,318
They're not gonna hurt you or Mom,

1594
01:23:04,452 --> 01:23:05,519
Hold this,

1595
01:23:07,355 --> 01:23:08,456
George, what are you doing?

1596
01:23:11,325 --> 01:23:13,394
Elizabeth Washington Perry,

1597
01:23:13,527 --> 01:23:16,164
Would you do me the honor
of accepting this ring?

1598
01:23:16,297 --> 01:23:18,099
Oh, George, of course I will,

1599
01:23:19,133 --> 01:23:22,170
Georgie, if I don't get my fucking money,

1600
01:23:22,303 --> 01:23:24,638
one of you people up here's
gonna end up on the sidewalk

1601
01:23:24,772 --> 01:23:26,140
- like a fucking pancake,
- Hey,

1602
01:23:26,274 --> 01:23:28,376
Put that gun down
or I'mma break your face,

1603
01:23:28,509 --> 01:23:30,878
Do you have any idea how
hard it is for a woman over 30

1604
01:23:31,011 --> 01:23:33,381
to find a single straight man
south of 14th street?

1605
01:23:38,986 --> 01:23:41,455
Yes, George Fitzwilliam Barrow,

1606
01:23:41,589 --> 01:23:44,958
you sweet, shy,
townhouse loving mama's boy,

1607
01:23:45,626 --> 01:23:47,128
Of course, I will marry you,

1608
01:23:47,961 --> 01:23:51,031
I've loved you since I was five
and you were seven,

1609
01:23:52,500 --> 01:23:54,568
I was just too blind to see it,

1610
01:24:04,478 --> 01:24:06,514
Hey, Barrow gang,

1611
01:24:06,647 --> 01:24:09,683
- Get down off that roof now,
- Oh,

1612
01:24:09,817 --> 01:24:12,620
Detective Ortiz, it's me, Liz Perry,

1613
01:24:12,753 --> 01:24:14,588
I'm up here with Tommy Leroy, Sal Carmine,

1614
01:24:14,722 --> 01:24:16,457
and some other guy from the mafia,

1615
01:24:16,590 --> 01:24:19,560
I'm also up here with my fiancé,
George Barrow,

1616
01:24:19,693 --> 01:24:21,061
and his mom, Kathryn Waverly,

1617
01:24:21,195 --> 01:24:23,697
Wow, Liz, Congrats,

1618
01:24:23,831 --> 01:24:26,234
I didn't realize you was dating George,

1619
01:24:26,367 --> 01:24:28,702
Oh, me neither, this just
happened like an hour ago,

1620
01:24:28,836 --> 01:24:30,871
Did you say
Tommy Leroy's up there?

1621
01:24:31,004 --> 01:24:32,806
I got a warrant for his arrest,

1622
01:24:32,940 --> 01:24:34,575
A warrant for what?

1623
01:24:34,708 --> 01:24:36,310
Grand larceny in the fourth degree:

1624
01:24:36,444 --> 01:24:38,146
theft of merchandise,

1625
01:24:38,279 --> 01:24:39,780
Grand larceny?

1626
01:24:39,913 --> 01:24:41,249
For bouncing the check on a dozen cupcakes

1627
01:24:41,382 --> 01:24:43,016
for my girlfriend?

1628
01:24:43,151 --> 01:24:44,752
You bought a total of 240 cupcakes

1629
01:24:44,885 --> 01:24:48,389
at the Magnolia Bakery at $3,95 a pop,

1630
01:24:48,522 --> 01:24:51,091
So, I got cupcakes
for all my ex-girlfriends,

1631
01:24:51,225 --> 01:24:52,726
Is that a crime?

1632
01:24:52,860 --> 01:24:56,063
You can't arrest
Tommy Leroy for grand larceny,

1633
01:24:56,197 --> 01:24:58,132
That's $948,

1634
01:24:58,266 --> 01:25:01,469
The statutory limit in
the state of New York is 1000,

1635
01:25:01,602 --> 01:25:03,971
<i>Pendejo,</i> you forgot to include the tax,

1636
01:25:04,104 --> 01:25:07,107
Come on down, Tommy, It's over,

1637
01:25:08,075 --> 01:25:09,143
Howdy, boys,

1638
01:25:10,010 --> 01:25:11,412
You know the drill,
Stand over there,

1639
01:25:11,545 --> 01:25:15,483
Tommy Leroy,

1640
01:25:15,616 --> 01:25:18,152
you are under arrest, my friend,

1641
01:25:18,286 --> 01:25:20,854
For what?
Having a couple of fat ham hogs?

1642
01:25:20,988 --> 01:25:23,424
Or soaking half the skirts
in the West Village, huh?

1643
01:25:26,494 --> 01:25:28,429
FBI, You're under arrest,
Come on,

1644
01:25:28,562 --> 01:25:30,264
I thought we were brothers
from another mother,

1645
01:25:30,398 --> 01:25:31,632
Come on, You're under arrest,

1646
01:25:31,765 --> 01:25:33,033
Is this what you do to family?

1647
01:25:33,167 --> 01:25:34,468
You ain't family,

1648
01:25:34,602 --> 01:25:36,370
Where's my money, Big Sal?

1649
01:25:36,504 --> 01:25:38,806
Sophia, Big boss,

1650
01:25:40,341 --> 01:25:42,176
Never send a man to do a woman's job,

1651
01:25:42,310 --> 01:25:43,911
That's what I always say,

1652
01:25:44,044 --> 01:25:45,846
But now that George
has given me the briefcase

1653
01:25:45,979 --> 01:25:48,682
full of cash, I'm willing to
consider your debt paid in full,

1654
01:25:49,317 --> 01:25:51,652
So the 500K stays with me,

1655
01:25:51,785 --> 01:25:54,121
All's well that ends well
and all that crap,

1656
01:25:54,255 --> 01:25:55,423
This time,

1657
01:25:56,224 --> 01:25:58,826
But tell your boys to stay
on the Jersey side of the river

1658
01:25:58,959 --> 01:26:01,362
and don't dare cross to my side,

1659
01:26:02,496 --> 01:26:04,932
Oh, and give your mother my regards,

1660
01:26:05,065 --> 01:26:07,668
You know, it wouldn't kill her
to call me once in a while,

1661
01:26:09,470 --> 01:26:11,104
Come on, let's get you home,

1662
01:26:11,239 --> 01:26:12,706
- Get him out of here,
- Fucking scumbag,

1663
01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:14,375
Sal! Sal!

1664
01:26:14,508 --> 01:26:17,878
Oh, Sal!
I heard the commotion,

1665
01:26:18,011 --> 01:26:21,515
And I can't believe
I'm dating an FBI agent,

1666
01:26:21,649 --> 01:26:23,917
Oh, not just some

1667
01:26:24,051 --> 01:26:26,920
sleazy mortgage broker,

1668
01:26:27,054 --> 01:26:28,856
You'll still make me pasta though, right?

1669
01:26:28,989 --> 01:26:31,392
- Whatever you want, baby,
- Oh, yes,

1670
01:26:31,525 --> 01:26:33,761
Come on,

1671
01:26:33,894 --> 01:26:35,329
Ooh, let's go home,

1672
01:26:38,899 --> 01:26:41,435
It's just almost too much to bear,

1673
01:26:42,035 --> 01:26:44,272
I can only hope
that one day you find someone

1674
01:26:44,405 --> 01:26:48,509
who brings you as much happiness
as George Barrow brings me,

1675
01:26:50,143 --> 01:26:51,211
I don't know, honey,

1676
01:26:52,580 --> 01:26:55,048
I made the mistake of
falling in love with the one guy

1677
01:26:55,182 --> 01:26:56,884
who could never
love me back or bring me home

1678
01:26:57,017 --> 01:26:58,185
to meet his parents,

1679
01:27:00,654 --> 01:27:02,890
- Jonathan?
- Hello,

1680
01:27:03,557 --> 01:27:05,058
Hi, What are you doing here?

1681
01:27:05,192 --> 01:27:07,160
I thought you moved back to San Francisco,

1682
01:27:07,295 --> 01:27:10,364
I jumped on a plane the minute
that I got George's letter,

1683
01:27:10,498 --> 01:27:12,199
I mean, can you believe it?

1684
01:27:12,333 --> 01:27:14,101
The guy sat down
and wrote a letter by hand

1685
01:27:14,234 --> 01:27:16,169
using a pen and then mailed it to me

1686
01:27:16,304 --> 01:27:17,971
in an envelope with a stamp,

1687
01:27:18,105 --> 01:27:20,441
I mean, that's why it
took a week for me to get it,

1688
01:27:20,574 --> 01:27:21,642
Anyway,,,

1689
01:27:22,943 --> 01:27:24,312
I flew back the minute

1690
01:27:24,445 --> 01:27:26,747
that George told me that you love me,

1691
01:27:29,450 --> 01:27:32,119
Ever since that party
at the Little Branch, Billie,

1692
01:27:32,252 --> 01:27:34,254
I haven't been able
to stop thinking about you,

1693
01:27:35,589 --> 01:27:37,958
The way your nails felt on my back,

1694
01:27:39,026 --> 01:27:40,328
The way your lips felt on my--

1695
01:27:40,461 --> 01:27:43,431
Oh, hey,
PG13, we have customers,

1696
01:27:47,468 --> 01:27:48,569
Anyway,,,

1697
01:27:50,538 --> 01:27:53,774
you are so strong and confident,

1698
01:27:53,907 --> 01:27:56,276
so sure of your sexuality,

1699
01:27:56,410 --> 01:27:59,980
so unafraid to just go out there
and live your truth,

1700
01:28:00,113 --> 01:28:02,783
And I know
I should have texted you,

1701
01:28:02,916 --> 01:28:04,084
I'm sorry,

1702
01:28:04,552 --> 01:28:06,620
I just felt like such a coward,

1703
01:28:07,521 --> 01:28:10,157
Like I'd never be cool enough
for someone like you,

1704
01:28:11,859 --> 01:28:13,394
Just hold that thought,

1705
01:28:34,515 --> 01:28:35,883
You had me at hello,

1706
01:28:49,096 --> 01:28:51,465
Dear friends, we have come together

1707
01:28:51,599 --> 01:28:53,967
in the presence of God to celebrate

1708
01:28:54,101 --> 01:28:55,969
the marriage of these couples,

1709
01:28:56,103 --> 01:28:57,805
To surround them with our prayers

1710
01:28:57,938 --> 01:28:59,740
and to share in their joy,

1711
01:29:00,441 --> 01:29:02,943
The uniting of these persons in heart,

1712
01:29:03,076 --> 01:29:05,813
body, and mind is intended by God

1713
01:29:05,946 --> 01:29:08,782
for their mutual joy,
for the help and comfort

1714
01:29:08,916 --> 01:29:11,184
they give one another in prosperity

1715
01:29:11,318 --> 01:29:14,555
and adversity, and that
their love may be a blessing

1716
01:29:14,688 --> 01:29:16,857
to all whom they encounter,

1717
01:29:16,990 --> 01:29:20,060
If anyone knows a reason
why either of these couples

1718
01:29:20,193 --> 01:29:22,029
should not be joined in marriage,

1719
01:29:22,162 --> 01:29:25,833
I ask them to speak now
or forever hold their peace,

1720
01:29:27,167 --> 01:29:28,402
Wait!

1721
01:29:30,170 --> 01:29:31,572
Lizzie, don't do it,

1722
01:29:31,705 --> 01:29:33,106
I still have feelings for you,

1723
01:29:33,240 --> 01:29:34,408
What?

1724
01:29:36,176 --> 01:29:38,512
I'm just playing,

1725
01:29:38,646 --> 01:29:41,882
She all yours,
Georgie boy, you may proceed,

1726
01:29:42,015 --> 01:29:44,618
Behave, Leroy, or you're back in lockdown,

1727
01:29:44,752 --> 01:29:47,521
Come on,
Can't this guy take a joke?

1728
01:29:47,655 --> 01:29:51,024
Geez, Louise, Some people,

1729
01:29:51,158 --> 01:29:52,225
Anyone else?

1730
01:29:54,862 --> 01:29:57,765
I invite you to declare
your vows to one another,

1731
01:30:02,369 --> 01:30:04,037
You know
I'm ride or die for you, right?

1732
01:30:05,639 --> 01:30:06,940
Ride or die, baby,

1733
01:30:22,255 --> 01:30:23,423
I promise,,,

1734
01:30:25,025 --> 01:30:28,729
to adore every brick in your brownstone

1735
01:30:28,862 --> 01:30:30,464
and to cherish you

1736
01:30:30,598 --> 01:30:34,568
even when you grow old and I grow old

1737
01:30:34,702 --> 01:30:36,804
and our lintels need repointing,

1738
01:30:38,038 --> 01:30:42,442
I promise to be the sturdy
column that supports you

1739
01:30:42,576 --> 01:30:44,478
and the cornice that ornaments your life,

1740
01:30:45,613 --> 01:30:47,581
I promise to never forget the little boy

1741
01:30:47,715 --> 01:30:49,850
who rescued you
when you were a little girl,

1742
01:30:51,318 --> 01:30:54,588
And to love you for the amazing woman

1743
01:30:54,722 --> 01:30:56,423
who came back and rescued me,

1744
01:31:03,230 --> 01:31:05,599
George, I promise

1745
01:31:05,733 --> 01:31:08,335
never to forget that you are
the same amazing man

1746
01:31:08,468 --> 01:31:11,138
who rescued me when I was five
and you were seven,

1747
01:31:12,706 --> 01:31:15,175
I promise never to drink
Montefalco Rosso

1748
01:31:15,308 --> 01:31:17,010
until ten o'clock in the morning

1749
01:31:17,144 --> 01:31:19,279
unless you're the one
who's drinking with me,

1750
01:31:21,048 --> 01:31:24,117
I promise that for better or worse,,,

1751
01:31:25,318 --> 01:31:26,554
in sickness and in health,,,

1752
01:31:28,455 --> 01:31:31,391
you will always be my one true cupcake,

1753
01:31:32,526 --> 01:31:33,661
And I yours,

1754
01:31:53,647 --> 01:31:56,149
By their promises
before God and in the presence

1755
01:31:56,283 --> 01:31:57,350
of this assembly,,,

1756
01:32:01,254 --> 01:32:03,123
you may kiss your beloved,

1757
01:32:45,198 --> 01:32:46,800
Hey, <i>Townhouse Confidential,</i>

1758
01:32:51,939 --> 01:32:53,273
Deep Park?

1759
01:32:55,242 --> 01:32:57,745
- It's you,
- I'm your biggest fan,

1760
01:32:57,878 --> 01:33:00,047
I've read every blog post you ever posted,

1761
01:33:00,180 --> 01:33:02,249
So, you're some kind of stalker?

1762
01:33:02,382 --> 01:33:04,752
I'm more like a field agent,

1763
01:33:04,885 --> 01:33:07,187
I know it's kind of hard
to do investigative reporting

1764
01:33:07,320 --> 01:33:09,056
when you never leave your house,

1765
01:33:09,189 --> 01:33:10,958
So, what are you saying?

1766
01:33:11,091 --> 01:33:12,292
I want to be your partner,

1767
01:33:13,160 --> 01:33:15,696
You on the inside, me on the outside,

1768
01:33:15,829 --> 01:33:17,631
Scooping stories, winning Pulitzers,

1769
01:33:20,934 --> 01:33:22,069
Deep Park,,,

1770
01:33:23,170 --> 01:33:24,938
I think that this is
going to be the beginning

1771
01:33:25,072 --> 01:33:27,474
of a beautiful friendship,

1772
01:33:44,758 --> 01:33:47,661
Spotted on Washington Place,

1773
01:33:47,795 --> 01:33:50,197
New tenants moving into the townhouse

1774
01:33:50,330 --> 01:33:54,835
Lindsay Lohan left behind
just three short months ago,

1775
01:33:54,968 --> 01:33:59,139
The fortunate newcomers
are a well-known French actress,

1776
01:33:59,272 --> 01:34:02,676
her actor-director husband,
and their children,

1777
01:34:02,810 --> 01:34:04,577
who sources say have just been accepted

1778
01:34:04,712 --> 01:34:07,347
into the prestigious
Little Red Schoolhouse,

1779
01:34:08,716 --> 01:34:12,019
In other news,
<i>Townhouse Confidential</i>

1780
01:34:12,152 --> 01:34:15,355
has learned that
the Perry sisters' townhouse

1781
01:34:15,488 --> 01:34:18,458
<i>has recently passed into other hands,</i>

1782
01:34:18,591 --> 01:34:22,963
but that, according to the terms
of this unusual deal,

1783
01:34:23,096 --> 01:34:25,465
the three sisters
may continue to live there

1784
01:34:25,598 --> 01:34:28,802
rent free for as long
as they wish to do so,

1785
01:34:29,970 --> 01:34:33,406
In the words of the late,
great Jane Austin,,,

1786
01:34:34,842 --> 01:34:37,878
"It is a truth universally acknowledged

1787
01:34:38,011 --> 01:34:40,580
"that three scorching hot sisters

1788
01:34:40,714 --> 01:34:43,516
"who live in a West Village townhouse

1789
01:34:43,650 --> 01:34:45,585
"will not stay single for long,"

1790
01:35:14,314 --> 01:35:18,151
Oh, Mother, you have no idea
what the Village holds,

1791
01:35:18,285 --> 01:35:20,888
Oil, grease, grime,

1792
01:35:21,021 --> 01:35:22,555
The trash of life,

1793
01:35:22,689 --> 01:35:23,757
The beautiful,,,

1794
01:35:25,158 --> 01:35:29,196
delicious, oily goodness of life, mother!

1795
01:35:30,230 --> 01:35:32,833
Oh, mother,

1796
01:35:33,801 --> 01:35:36,536
My plans, My plans have changed,

1797
01:35:38,405 --> 01:35:39,807
Get on board, mother,

1798
01:35:41,441 --> 01:35:42,910
Get on board,

1799
01:35:43,944 --> 01:35:46,146
The Barrow family is back,

1800
01:35:48,381 --> 01:35:49,582
No one's perfect,

1801
01:35:50,383 --> 01:35:52,585
Like that time Lizzie and I
hooked up on New Year's, right?

1802
01:35:52,719 --> 01:35:54,254
- Meant nothing,
- Maybe not to you,

1803
01:35:54,387 --> 01:35:55,789
but it meant something to me,

1804
01:35:55,923 --> 01:35:57,257
You didn't even text me the next day,

1805
01:35:57,390 --> 01:36:00,293
Liz, I thought we were getting married,

1806
01:36:00,427 --> 01:36:01,829
You still have feelings for Tommy?

1807
01:36:01,962 --> 01:36:03,563
No, of course not,

1808
01:36:03,696 --> 01:36:05,298
But he still could have texted me, right?

1809
01:36:12,539 --> 01:36:15,308
"The Robert and
Roberta Bethune house,

1810
01:36:15,442 --> 01:36:18,611
"Built in 1845, the Robert
and Roberta Bethune house

1811
01:36:18,745 --> 01:36:20,480
"was built for a brother and sister

1812
01:36:20,613 --> 01:36:23,116
"who lived in this
Greek Revival townhouse

1813
01:36:23,250 --> 01:36:26,319
"for 93 years without
ever venturing outside

1814
01:36:26,453 --> 01:36:27,620
"to date or marry,

1815
01:36:28,788 --> 01:36:30,924
"Well known as West Village hoarders

1816
01:36:31,058 --> 01:36:33,726
"with hundreds of cats, rumors swirled

1817
01:36:33,861 --> 01:36:36,296
"that the Bethune twins were actually--"

1818
01:36:36,429 --> 01:36:40,033
Lizzie, can we go home already,

1819
01:36:40,167 --> 01:36:42,602
Come on, we've only got
one house left anyway, Let's go,

1820
01:36:44,171 --> 01:36:48,108
<i>♪ Keep on trying, give it
everything we've got ♪</i>

1821
01:36:48,241 --> 01:36:51,811
<i>♪ Gotta believe find out
what we're made of ♪</i>

1822
01:36:51,945 --> 01:36:54,381
<i>♪ Gonna keep my head up
just keep smiling ♪</i>

1823
01:36:54,514 --> 01:36:57,817
<i>♪ Even on a rainy day keep movin' ♪</i>

1824
01:36:57,951 --> 01:37:01,021
<i>♪ Clean up the mess
and make a better way ♪</i>

1825
01:37:01,154 --> 01:37:03,156
<i>♪ Keep groovin' ♪</i>

1826
01:37:03,290 --> 01:37:05,959
<i>♪ Do my thing and
don't care what people say ♪</i>

1827
01:37:06,593 --> 01:37:10,964
<i>♪ Gotta get up, gotta keep
workin' every single day ♪</i>

1828
01:37:11,098 --> 01:37:13,433
<i>♪ There's always gonna be
another greedy grabber ♪</i>

1829
01:37:13,566 --> 01:37:15,635
<i>♪ There's always gonna be
another rumor gabber ♪</i>

1830
01:37:15,768 --> 01:37:19,339
<i>♪ Always going to have to
find a way to tow the line ♪</i>

1831
01:37:20,240 --> 01:37:22,309
<i>♪ And if you don't lose
your sister's trust ♪</i>

1832
01:37:22,442 --> 01:37:24,777
<i>♪ And if you don't lose it all and bust ♪</i>

1833
01:37:24,912 --> 01:37:28,381
<i>♪ Keep on working it and you'll be fine ♪</i>

1834
01:37:28,515 --> 01:37:30,450
<i>♪ We gotta get up ♪</i>

1835
01:37:30,583 --> 01:37:33,186
<i>♪ Working harder than
we've ever worked before ♪</i>

1836
01:37:33,320 --> 01:37:35,688
<i>♪ Gotta speak up,
Be a fighter ♪</i>

1837
01:37:35,822 --> 01:37:39,126
<i>♪ When something's worth
fighting for, never give up ♪</i>

1838
01:37:39,259 --> 01:37:43,163
<i>♪ Keep on trying,
give it everything we've got ♪</i>

1839
01:37:43,296 --> 01:37:46,900
<i>♪ Gotta believe
find out what we're made of ♪</i>

1840
01:37:47,034 --> 01:37:51,538
<i>♪ Keep my head up, just keep
smiling even on a rainy day ♪</i>

1841
01:37:51,671 --> 01:37:56,176
<i>♪ Keep movin', clean up the mess
and make a better way ♪</i>

1842
01:37:56,309 --> 01:37:58,245
<i>♪ Keep groovin' ♪</i>

1843
01:37:58,378 --> 01:38:01,448
<i>♪ Do my thing and
don't care what people say ♪</i>

1844
01:38:01,581 --> 01:38:03,951
<i>♪ Gotta get up, gotta keep working ♪</i>